#the context of the meme is talking about songs being stuck in my head‚ not my general feelings toward them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgik (2024)

Tagged by @kittlyns (back in march lol) to share my lock screen, last song played, and last picture saved

it didnt specify how many people to tag so im going to tag 10 people bc kittlyn tagged me on my blog's 10th anniversary: @girlwwx @rudiecantfail @yokoyas @glitteratti @booksnbarricades @sonyachni @ettelwenailinon @smiliestboye @sisyphuslnabyss and @hopefulqueer

13 notes · View notes

Heyo you offered to talk about the memes in the Chinese dsmp community and yup here I am to listen bc this is cool (also the fact that tommy is sometimes legit called child is f*cking hilarious to me lol)

I will first add a slight disclaimer, I have been less active lately in Chinese dsmp community (wow back in the day I was part of a translation team too...) so my memes may be a bit outdated.

For some context, I'll explain a bit about how bilibili is structured. Here's a screenshot from Dream's 1v4 Manhunt Finale. As you can see, there are bullet comments on top of the video (if you scroll down there will also be comments below the video like on YouTube), sort of like chat on streams. Some of the bullet comments have lots of likes, such as the one with a yellow thumbs up next to it (it says ***At this point Antfrost is secretly doing something***).

The ones I have been keeping up with the most on bilibili were Dream's manhunts and Technoblade, so there'll probably be more of their memes in this list.

muffinhead 松饼脑袋 this actually means pancake head, one of the initial translators mistakenly translated muffin as pancake but it stuck and is now a meme. Also theoretically they could've used 头 instead of 脑袋 but that also stuck.

Dream's opening "only X% aren't subscribed": 白嫖不分国界 "getting/taking things for free is an international activity". When you watch a video on bilibili without leaving a like or coins (which you get for free by logging in) or subscribing it's described as taking something for free.

There's a specific type of meme called 空耳 (lit: empty ear) which is how people mishear English. These are a bit hit or miss for me since I am a native English speaker as well, but here's a couple more common ones:

"leave me alone" sounds like 李云龙 Li Yunlong (1919-1965) who was a general in the People's Liberation Army and there was a movie made about him in 2005 I believe.

In the manhunt where the hunters get enchanted diamond armor Bad excitedly chants "shiny squad! shiny squad!" but viewers in the bullet comments misheard this as "Chinese squad". After seeing that comment I couldn't unhear it either.

半条命 "half a life" Every time Dream has half a heart left somebody will come up with a fancy title to describe the scenario, and people will spam 封印解除 "the seal (on his power/skill) has been broken". Examples of titles: 半条命：亡命天涯 "Half a Life: Death at the Cliffs/Edge of the Sky" 半条命：山谷危机 "Half a Life: Danger in the Canyon" (these are pretty mediocre examples, there are better ones but I can't think of them right now)

D道站 (since dream is also shortened to D) is a pun off of 地道战, a 1966 classic Chinese movie about the Sino-Japanese War, it means tunnel warfare and is used for whenever Dream tunnels around during manhunt.

They also have the dudududu meme, of course. They call it 松饼处刑曲, "muffin" sentencing (like sentencing a crime) song

Techno was a known fan of the esports donghua (donghua is to China as anime is to Japan) The King's Avatar 《全职高手》 and talked about it onstream before, he even read the entire over thousand chapter webnovel. In fact, fans found his comments on the English translation and he was in the novel's Discord server (it was linked to his Discord account iirc so it was him). He also once made his nick on hypixel OneAutumnLeaf referencing 一叶知秋, the main character's original username. (Sidenote I remember getting salty when people were commenting "webnovel? just say fanfiction" it's not fanfiction! it's original fiction! just because webnovels aren't a thing in the US... no need to say it in such a disparaging way... anyway...)

Of course Chinese fans would know about his memes with Sun Zi (Sun Tzu but modern transliteration) and The Art of War, as well as when he intentionally misquotes. The Republic-era author 鲁迅 Lu Xun is also often misquoted as a meme so these jokes often appear 鲁迅：这个我熟 "Lu Xun: I am familiar with this (experience of being misquoted)". Sometimes people comment on how incredibly long the English translation of Sun Zi's lines are.

中国文化传播大使 Techno is jokingly called Ambassador of Spreading Chinese Culture because of his usage of The Art of War, and to be honest he really truly understood the concepts he quoted lmao, he used them very well.

日常和粉丝互相80 Techno and his fans bully each other on the daily

There was that time Techno described Dream as a 刑天 Xingtian, a Chinese mythological warrior who was beheaded and then basically has eyes where his nipples are and a mouth on his stomach, so Chinese fans sometimes call him the green Xingtian, they also call him 晴天娃娃 which is actually a Japanese thing, they look like this:

Skeppy often starts and ends his videos with things like "like or die tmr" and the bullet comments will spam 永久反弹 which means "eternal reflection", its basically just a "no u"

On funny interactions/bullying between Phil and his "sons" or Wilbur and Fundy, commenters like to spam 父慈子孝 which is a Chinese idiom meaning "compassionate father and filial son(s)"

I might add to this post in reblogs if I remember any more memes unique to Chinese fandom. I am not active on lofter dsmp circles (which you can think of as equivalent to tumblr) or weibo (analogous to twitter), only bilibili (similar to youtube) so that's where my memes come from.

503 notes · View notes

Roxy's IRL Friends and Their Les Mis Experiences

right so the context is that i have been hyperfixated on les mis for two months and am insufferable and talk about it all the time with my friends, including my really specific in-jokes with myself (javert's 46 upsetting hats that he makes himself, javer'ts hat being huge/trying to eat him, a lot of hat related stuff actually, at this point it's just to make myself laugh), all the seperate canons i maintain (1-2rp canons, 3-5 fic canons, the one where javert personally knows and really hates shadow the hedgehog) and weird fandom bullsh*t (the one time i saw a piece of fan art that just absolutely snatched montparnasse's waist. good art btw. but just. he was so snatched and it stuck with me). and they just put up with it. so here's the post.

i have this one friend and she saw les mis on the west end in 2017 and remembers almost none of it but the things she DOES remember include:"two different blonde ladies" and at first i was like there are only three women in this show so it narrows it down but it took some prying to discover that these were, in fact, fantine and cosette.

master of the house is only song she recalls. the only song. out of all of the songs. (it objectively slaps but yall know how i feel about stars and she does too, she's read my stars essay). she said that "those guys [the thenardiers] got another song later on for no reason" which like is technically true i guess.

also, according her, "a guy died on a barricade". yes bestie many guys died on a barricade that's like half the f*cking story

and she also got a nosebleed halfway through and spend half the show with her head tilted up so she wouldn't bleed everywhere so she didn't see anything. after she told me about this i explained the full plot of Les Miserables (1978) to her because i a, autistic.

but that's it that's all she remembers from the musical. she also insisted on pronouncing javert JAV-ERT for a month just to piss me off. including while i was dressed as him for halloween. i also have a running joke of people mis pronouncing his name but it used to specifically really get to me for some reason. but like i said my friends put up with so much bullsh*t from me and i get to hear about fallout 4 and sonic in return, neurodivergent people are so powerful.

my OTHER friend knows the plot of les mis and the songs well enough to torment me still further. he has invented a character named Maurice who does not exist at all ever and he brings Maurice up everytime I bring up les mis at the dinner table (which is often, some would say every single day with few excpetions). he says that his "favorite part of les mis is when maurice goes in the sewer and says 'it's mauricin' time' then her maurices all over the sewer" because we decided that's where maurice lives. i hate my friends so much. love those guys.

my OTHER OTHER friend who i know irl and talk to online said to me recently that they "forgot javert wasn't a real guy" which is hilarious and also reminds me that this person has never listened to les mis or consumed any les mis related media and must have such a f*cked up idea of the plot at this point oh my god. they have seen all my memes and all my weird fic stuff but just...they do not know the plot. i wonder what they think happens in les mis???????????

and furthermore, some of my friends and i have discovered that like five of us all have special interests/hyperfixations set in France or that are France related in some way, so i have made a handy graph to hekp us keep track. it's not perfect but i love graphs so much. this is what i get for meeting every single one of my friends at the special move-in day for disability services or at special ed high school. only one of us is straight and only one of us is neurotypical, but it's the same guy and we like him anyways. here's the graph, with names removed but anyways the point is i love my friends but we're all terrible autism people. i'm The Crusades, FORMERLY Hamilton and Les Miserables, if you couldn't guess.

2 notes · View notes

How to become a Demon Ruler 114

Part: 01 I 02 I 03 I 04 I 05 I 06 I 07 I 09 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I

GN. Reader insert

taglist: @ayesha95 ; @nomnomcupcakesworld ; @fex-phoenix ; @depressed-bixch ; @kitsune-oji ; @witch-o-memes

This is the last part of this story.

I'm open for a 2nd season but I will at the very least take a break.

I hope you will all enjoy this, thank you all for the lovely comments and likes.

___________________

After Lucifer leaves there is a stream of other people who greet me. It's pretty exhausting.

Barbatos hands me water once in a while and I glance sometimes at Diavolo, who looks just like always. It's pretty impressive.

Then finally we are done greeting everyone. I'm so glad it's over.

I feel a bit stiff when I stand up to walk to our table. It's right on top of all the other tables, a bit like at a wedding reception.

Everyone's eyes seem to be glued to my every move. I stay calm and just tell myself to breathe and smile.

Diavolo sits down right next to me, Barbatos stands behind us.

Someone then announces that the meal will now be served.

It's a meal with many courses, all consist of very tiny amounts of food that are nicely arranged.

All my training has really paid off and I think I'm doing pretty well.

My last official duty is dancing with Diavolo.

It's not easy doing that after eating this much, but I still look forward to it.

Diavolo gives me his very bright and yet strangely calming smile. He looks so happy and proud.

I can't help but smile at him.

With him, I don't even notice the countless eyes on me.

He leads me to the dance floor. Much like in our training session, the song is very slow.

I'm strangely calm, I don't even step on his foot.

After a round of applause, the dance floor is opened for everyone.

I try to step aside since many high-ranking demons want to dance with Diavolo.

I'm sure I see Barbatos shooting angry glances towards a lower-ranking demon that approaches me for a dance. The demon pretty much flees after that.

Then suddenly everyone goes silent.

The demon king has just arrived. I can hear the murmurs from everyone around me.

Everyone goes back and bows deeply. Their fear and respect are obvious.

The king doesn't acknowledge anyone and straight-up walks up to me. He even blatantly ignores Diavolo, who stands a bit away from me.

Then he stops and starts speaking with his booming voice. "My dear child. Such a pleasure to see you." He addresses me so kindly it gives me whiplash.

"The pleasure is fully mine." I smile nervously and bow.

"I wish to talk to you in private." He just says that and starts walking off.

I look at Diavolo and then at Barbatos. They both seem equally surprised.

"You should do as he says," Barbatos whispers in my direction. I nod and follow the king.

"Father, can I join too?" Diavolo speaks to his father.

"Not this time. It's a private conversation." The King refuses him coldly.

Diavolo sighs. I'm grateful he tried and mouth a "thank you" to him.

The king leads me to a private room.

He sits down and I follow his lead. The atmosphere feels very stiff. I dread what he could do to me.

"First of all, I want to ask how you feel about your time in the devildom so far." His tone isn't harsh anymore.

I still feel intimidated by him.

"I enjoy it a lot here." I'm hesitant but honest.

He nods. "I'm glad then. Diavolo has scolded me for doing what I did and I realized that it was probably inconvenient for you."

I had no idea that Diavolo was standing up for me. It's very sweet. "It was certainly an experience but thanks to Diavolo and Barbatos' I have a lot of fun." I can't thank them enough if I'm honest.

"You are certainly one that adapts to whatever the devildom will throw at you. Despite that, I want to offer you to return to the human world. Diavolo said that it's the right thing to do." He seems to carefully choose his words.

I'm surprised to hear that. I didn't know that Diavolo was doing all of this for me. It wasn't easy for him for sure.

I take a moment to think about my old life in the human realm. How lonely I was, how empty everything felt. I was longing for something else. Some kind of connection.

"I wish to stay," I state clearly, without a single doubt.

The king nods. "I knew you would say that. I have indeed chosen well. I look forward to seeing you on my throne one day."

"I can't say that I'm very interested in the throne, but thank you." I try to say this politely.

"We will see. Regardless, I expect great things from you." He seems pretty pleased with himself.

"I'm wondering if there was any particular reason why you have chosen me?" This might be the only time I can ask him.

"Of course. I had a vision of you sitting on my throne." He says this so matter of fact that I can only stare at him in disbelief.

Now I can clearly see he is indeed related to Diavolo. Why was I ever scared of this man?

The king gives me a small chuckle. "I look forward to seeing you grow even more in the future. I'm sure you will exceed even my expectations."

Without letting me say anything else the king stands up and leaves.

He is truly an enigma.

I somehow feel relieved but also exhausted.

Before going back inside I decide to step outside just for a little bit. I feel the need to take a deep breath.

I find myself in the garden. It's dimly lit but I still can admire the stars. It's very beautiful, even though it's much different from the sky that I'm used to.

"Are you alright?" I hear Diavolos gentle voice and turn to him.

"Yeah, just taking a breath." I smile at him.

Diavolo nods and steps next to me.

"Did you decide to stay or to leave?" This question seems to burn him up. He doesn't even fully look at me.

"I will stay, of course, but thank you for allowing me to decide." As easy as my choice was, I'm happy that I had it this time.

Diavolo breathes out from relief. He finally faces me. "You know that you are stuck here for good now, right?" He seems to ask me if I'm sure of my choice.

"Before I came here I was all alone. I didn't miss anything at the time but ever since I came here I just felt more and more like a part of something good. I guess I was pretty lost in the human world but now I feel at home." I smile at Diavolo, hoping he will understand me.

He smiles gently at me."It's funny that I never even realized that I missed anything before you just showed up. Now I can't even imagine my life without you." He looks deeply into my eyes. My cheeks heat up. "Now where you stay I have something that I wish you to do. You see, my wish is for all the realms to become more friendly so I decided to make an exchange program. Students from all of the realms will soon arrive to study here. I want you to be a part of these students."

"Wait, you want me to become a student? Am I the right person for that?" I'm very surprised by his words.

"There is no better person than you. I can't even picture anyone else if I'm being honest. You already get along so well with the demon brothers and I just know everyone will love you." Diavolo smiles at me in his usual bright and shining way. He has made his mind up.

"I'm flattered but it's a big responsibility and does that mean the seven demon brothers are students too?" I still find it hard to wrap my head around it.

"There is no pressure. I want you to be a regular student. I understand that it's a big deal but I want you to love the devildom even more." Diavolo is so convinced by his idea that it's infectious.

"It's going to be a lot of work and studying right? I will have to suffer from Barbatos giving me lessons and from demons that want to eat me. The brothers will be a constant source of trouble." I smile and shake my head. "But there is nothing that I'd rather do." I end up agreeing to this frankly ridiculous idea. There is nothing better than this to support Diavolo and his dream.

Diavolo places a hand on mine. "Thank you so much for this. I won't be able to pay you back for this."

My cheeks are getting even hotter. "It's not a big deal. I'd do anything for you." I admit this, feeling a bit shy. I feel his hand holding mine tightly.

Diavolo smiles. "I feel the same way about you." Then he takes my other hand.

"There is one more thing I'd like to ask of you. As you demons can make pacts with humans and I wish to form a pact with you. This will put us as truly equal. So would you want to do this for me?" His words come with such ease and they are so tender. His gentle words almost make me cry.

I have no context for it but it feels so important. "I would be very happy to have a pact with you Diavolo." My voice is shaking with unknown emotions. I'm nearly overwhelmed by happiness.

Diavolo smiles so softly at me. I have never seen this smile on him before. "I'm truly glad that you are part of my life now."

Then something starts to happen, a feeling starts to overcome me. It's warm and powerful. I feel like my whole body is flooded by Diavolos aura. It's comforting.

I can feel that a part of myself is flowing into Diavolo.

Somehow I feel comfortable and fully at ease with myself. Somewhere on my body, I feel a warm circle forming, the proof of our pact.

Diavolo then lets go of my hands and the sensation is fully gone.

"Wow, that felt amazing." It truly was a great experience.

"It was truly amazing. I have never had a pact with a human before or with anyone for that matter." Diavolo says this so calmly that it's surprising.

"Am I really the right person?" This is a big surprise to me.

"Yes, first and possibly last. You should try to control me." Diavolo smiles calmly at me.

I'm still baffled by this revelation. "How do I do that?"

Diavolo shrugs. "I should have asked the demon brothers about this. We will figure it out but now I feel much more at ease."

"You are right, we are in it together after all." I smile at him.

He nods and then takes my hand once again. "Let's head inside before Barbatos searches for us."

______

I just noticed that the MC has never seen Diavolo in his demon form. They are in for a surprise for sure.

If I write demon ruler 201, I need to add that somewhere.

Also, take this as revenge for not giving me Diavolo as my pact demon *yet*.

In demon ruler 201 there will definitely be a pact with Barbatos too.

55 notes · View notes

Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 Plus a Little Jacquemus: Okay, Dior DID Suck (Part 1/2)

Hi to anyone reading,

Oh my god. I completely forgot there was also 2 haute couture weeks. I FEEL SO OVERWHELMED. Here I was getting all geared up for the F/W 2020 shows and suddenly it’s Jean Paul Gaultier’s last show and everybody’s (predictably) buzzing about the Jacquemus collection. I can’t keep up. But Haute Couture week is a lot less intense than the RTW shows so I suppose I should be enjoying this relative peace whilst I can.

I remember my last post about Haute Couture week opened with me defending Maria Grazia from the wrath of the internet; if Jacquemus is social media’s Lord and Saviour, this woman is the Antichrist. She’s Michael Langdon minus the dramatic flair. But the thing is, I genuinely really liked the Dior collection last time. Maybe because I was newer to the discipline of scouring Vogue Runway, but the lack of originality didn’t bother me; it was still something I’d die to wear, gothic yet delicate and relevant for 2019.

That being said, this time round, I have to open by doing the exact opposite and concurring: this time round, Dior was in fact, utter sh*t.

I feel mean saying it but...really? These were the slightly more salvageable outfits and my favourite of the bunch, and to be honest they don’t really capture the full extent of how outdated this collection was to me. I know that the concept behind the show was this idea of the divine feminine but Greek Goddess has been done SO many times. If you’re gonna go down that route, you have to bring something new, elevate it in some way. It can’t be THIS generic.

I can’t believe that in 2020 we’re really seeing plaited hairbands. The individual dresses are basic, but not so much the problem as the styling; they look like outfits I would’ve put together back in 2012. That’s not an exaggeration. I think even 2013 me would appreciate that you need to make things a little twisty.

The colour scheme is pretty, don’t get me wrong, and I like the cowl necks-the white dresses are the highlights. I think the concept of this collection was conceived with all the best intentions. But as a designer you need to take risks and I don’t see one single risk here; there isn’t anything that wouldn’t already be sold in your local H&M. Dior is such an established brand, Maria Grazia has room to do whatever she wants. And yet it just comes across like she’s out of ideas.

You’ve got to look at a designer like Ulyana Sergeenko:

When I say elevated (but still in the vein of wearable), I mean something like this. To be completely honest, I hadn’t heard of Ulyana Sergeenko until I saw shots of this show on Twitter. But what a perfect mix of kitsch and glamour. The influences are clear: Priscilla Presley, Barbie, Jackie O, Valley of the Dolls, the rich stay-at-home wife of the 60s, the Alessandra Rich/Scream Queens-esque sorority girl, Paris f*cking Hilton. It’s exaggerated and it’s tongue in cheek with total grounds to call it trashy-there’s a corset resembling a Benjamin Franklin, ffs-but it’s all done with a wink and a nudge. And in all honesty, I just think it’s beautiful. Can you imagine Frances O’Sullivan (@Beautyspock on IG) in one of these looks? It would be worthy of the Rose McGowan cultural reset meme ten times over.

Everything is feline, from the very literal cat silhouettes and cat headed boa, to the makeup and the hair clips.It reminds me of the last RTW Ralph and Russo show but with even more attention to detail. And look at the STAGE. If this collection were a song, it’d be Disco tit* by Tove Lo. And no, I’m not just saying that because one of the dresses actually does feature a (cat shaped) disco tit. Like these are the clothes I dreamed of putting my Bratz dolls, and for null I’m sure, myself in. Absolute perfection. Plus, I’ve loved Coco Rocha since she was on The Face with Naomi Campbell; she is, after all, to thank for the iconic“check your lipstick before you come for me” line. Girl is really the martyr for all purple lipstick lovers, cut down in her prime by a pissed-off Naomi.

Onto Alexandre Vauthier, which I also really liked. An interesting yet effortless blend of the old and the new, the masculine and the feminine, if I could sum this collection up in one word, it would be cool. I know, it’s not the most descriptive, but it pretty much sums up how I feel; I’m not AS gassed about it as I am about Ulyana Sergeenko or this season’s Elie Saab (wait for it), but it’s a fresh offering, even if the styles aren’t the most groundbreaking. Stand outs for me are the almost petticoat like, debutante dresses which have Elle Fanning’s name written all over them.

I was hard pressed to find favourites in the ArmaniPrivé collection if I’m honest. I’m not saying it was awful, all I know is that it just isn’t my style. It’s all a bit TOO tailored for my liking, and kinda reminds me of the Zara pantsuits my Spanish teacher used to wear. In other words, I find it to be a bit dowdy. On a positive note, the colours, fabrics, and beading are all stunning, so I see that a lot of craftsmanship clearly went into it; I think my biggest issue is the styling and the shapes (or lack of) on show.I’m very much getting a 20s, flapper vibe and whilst that’s an era that fascinates me and that I appreciate was cutting-edge at the time, I’ve yet to see it be bought into the 21st century in a way that doesn’t look stiff or costume-y.

Then there’s Azzaro. At the complete opposite end of the scale to Armani, it doesn’t look expensive, which I’m sure isn’t something any designer previewing their collection at haute couture week is striving for. BUT that being said, I’d be much more likely to wear something from this collection than I would from ArmaniPrivé. I mean, I have no shot at ever wearing either but ya get me.

Whilst I’m sure it or something similar has been done before, the mesh diamanté dress is exquisite and I’m a huge fan of the stacked gem chokers and belts. The whole collection looks like something a London socialite who parties by night but (deep breath in) plays in a sh*tty band so fancies herself a bit of a rockstar by day would wear (exhale) and as much as that doesn’t sound like a compliment, I mean it as one. I’m talking about the kind of person you’d see smoking outside a bar and think“I wish I was them but I am potato lol”. I mean, as far as faux fur and fedoras are concerned, I’m gonna find it hard to completely slate a collection so this is pretty up my alley.

Chanel was a huge step up from their last RTW collection, imo, and probably on par with their last haute couture offering. It’s that same blend of preppy Chanel detailing (i.e the exaggerated collars, the checks and the lace) and practicality, only even more austere this time round.

It’s funny because when I looked back on original notes on this collection, before I’d even done any research into the context, I saw that one of the things I’d written was“giving me Victorian orphanage madame” as well as “something something Amish”and I wasn’t THAT far off base. The collection is, after all, supposed to be a tribute to the nuns who raised Coco Chanel at the beginning of the century in an Abbey-cum-orphanage. This makes me really happy; I know not everyone’s a fan of Virginie Viard’s nods back to the past and the brand’s origins but as a history nerd, I definitely am.

There’s also definitely a lot of things that can be translated into high street trends here: the combination of decorative white socks and black shoes is something I’ve seen making a comeback already, tulle is always a winner (I actually don’t mind it as an overlay, I think it’s pretty, sue me)and I have no doubt we’ll be seeing these dramatic collars creeping back onto tops and jumpers throughout the year. It’s been a while since they were a thing anyway and we all know how cyclical fashion is.

Another high note for Elie Saab this haute couture season; if I was an expressive person, I probably would’ve audibly gasped as I looked through this collection. It is SO f*ckING MAGNIFICENT. The colour scheme, the baroque prints, the floral sequinned embroidery, these are Cinderella style ballgowns taken to the next level. Elie Saab really is the definition of opulence and I’m not at all mad about it. Please, somebody put Lana Del Rey in one of these, PLEASE. Remind her how much of a princess she is and get her out of those“soccer mom” looks.

I’m so stuck between this collection and Ulyana Sergeenko as my favourite, and the latter might just pip the other to the post, purely because of the staging and extravagance of the presentation itself.

Georges Hobeika was predictably phenomenal. Like, I’m not going to lie, I am easily won over by some sequins and tulle, I’ve never claimed any different, and if you can expect that from anyone, it’s this guy (ignore that phrasing making me sound like his proud mother). The colour scheme is very spring appropriate and so is the 3D flower detailing, and if there’s anything good to take from Ascot and English royal weddings, Georges Hobeika knows it’s the hats.

It was another strong year for Givenchy too:

Though Claire Waight Keller is also fond of the extravagant details along the lines of feather and tulle, it’s always done in a more organic way; the details are always more reminiscent of nature, something created by accident, than they are suggestive of painstaking attention to detail, the image of someone hunched over a dress beading for hours on endà la Georges Hobeika or Elie Saab. That is not a bad thing at all; if anything, it makes Givenchy more interesting to study and gives you more to think about. Sometimes a dress takes you a bit longer to fully appreciate, but I’d say that only lends to its memorability. This year’s willowy, billowing, and at times coral-esque structures remind me of something I can see being worn down an Iris Van Herpen runway, set apart by that delicate Givenchy finesse. And side not: I know this post is to talk about the clothes, not the models, but I got super excited over seeing Sora Choi and Adut Akech walk too.

Guo Pei is always fun to look at. I mean, this collection is giving me half Matryoshka dolls, half It’s A Small World Christmas edition and I can’t hate on that.

And then there’s Iris Van Herpen, who knocked it out of the park once again. At this point, I wouldn’t expect anything less. Every outfit looks like something that could be exhibited in the Tate Modern (I know, it’s a basic opinion, but it’s true: TATE MODERN IS THE BEST MUSEUM IN LONDON), or honestly, the Design Museum, just for the genius that must go into the way these dresses move. Honestly, if I can see a goddess wearing anything, it’s more one of these looks than anything in the Dior collection. Like wife of Poseidon or something; I know it’s not very feminist of me to not know the Greek Goddess of the sea’s name but I only know who Poseidon is because I was a Percy Jackson fan back in the day so let me live.

It’s not like the whole under-the-sea theme is particularly new, Zimmerman did something similar last RTW (I think? Correct me if I’m wrong), but these constructions could’ve grown out of the sea bed themselves, which is more of an original take than“oo, blue and white and frothy hemlines!”. Additionally, we’ve got these dresses with the overlapping almost plaited fabric that are-we’re sticking with the goddess references here-fit for Persephone ruling over hell. As for theGrudge-looking dress (fourth down, far left), I could be reaching, but is anyone else seeing that as a nod to the oil spills polluting our oceans? Because that would just add yet another layer to this collection.

Regardless, it’s all impeccable and I’m in love. Iris Van Herpen as a MET Gala theme. Make it happen.

Anyway, to end on a high note, that’s it for this post!

Sorry it’s such a sudden cut-off but Jean Paul Gaultier was due to be my second to last to review and due to it being the final show, there’s an onslaught of photos that would not fit with what’s already in this post. Plus, I’d rather start a post with Jacquemus then end it as I feel like there’s a lot of hype around his collections online right now so1). it’sclickbait (for what, I do not know, as I’m not exactly making any money off this blog, just losing my sanity as it transpires when Tumblr accidentally terminated it earlier today and I had a minor breakdown) and 2). this Steve Buscemi meme is the most accurate representation of only 21 year old me to grace the internet:

I will aim to post part 2/2 in the next week, including JPG, as I just mentioned, the Jacquemus co-ed show, Margiela, Valentino and more, and as always, thank you for anyone who read until the end! You are an angel:-)

Lauren x

744 notes · View notes

Writer Tag Game

@anghrainewas kind enough to tag me for this.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?110. they're not all fic, though.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?386,718. again, it's not all fic, so let's call it an even 385K for the fic portion.

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

A Wild and Distant ShorePride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

Hearing Light Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

to suppose the truth of it possible Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

Drowning in the Absolute Yes Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy

if you came this way Star Trek: Voyager, Janeway/Chakotay

4. Do you respond to comments; why or why not?for the sake of my mental health, i would prefer not to answer at this time. (i’m not being sarcastic. this is actually very difficult for me to talk about.)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?probablyPeriapsis. Callisto’s just been raped by Zeus. we all know what happens next.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?i really don't know how to answer this. most of my fics have, at the very least, hopeful endings, and i think a lot depends on the context. for example, Elizabeth and Darcy are happy in both A Wild and Distant Shore and Hearing Light, but one is the happiness of a newly married couple still learning the joys of sexual intimacy with each other, whereas the other is the happiness of a newly engaged couple still in the first tremulous throes of requited love and attraction. how do you quantify which state is happier? to use a different sort of example,Harvest ends happily for Griet because she’s achieved a kind of freedom she never imagined, but i don't know how to compare that to, say, Mulder’s happiness at still being with Scully after so many years in and the world keeps beginning. there are different kinds of happiness is what i'm saying, and i don’t know how to judge the relative values.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest most absurd one you’ve ever written?how about we don’t use the word ‘crazy’ here? i’ve written a few crossovers, though i'm not a big fan of them. (as opposed to fusions, which i absolutely adore.) for most absurd, considering that Pride and Prejudice and Star Trek: The Next Generation are two of the unlikeliest canons to combine,Lydia, stillhas been a surprisingly well-received fic.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?if i have, it wasn't particularly memorable. i suppose it depends on how one defines 'hate' in this context. i know i've had comments from people who have not been happy with some aspect of a fic, or with me generally, but nothing i'd actually term hate. (truthfully? i'm kind of disappointed.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?there are kinds? i wasn't aware of this and i don't know what the categories are. amusing fact (at least to me): my most popular fic by kudos happens to be the first piece of smut i ever wrote. since then i've written a lot more, for a variety of f/f and f/m pairings, including various kinks, dub-con, non-con, and even alpha/omega (heavens to betsy!); however, my writing preference is people who love each other (even if they don't know/won't admit it), and those pairings make up the bulk of my smut fic.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?just the once, to my knowledge, and it was an extremely disappointing experience. a few years agoif you came this waywas repackaged into a fic called Hired for Love by someone named cress26. and when i say it was disappointing, i mean... like, okay, i know i'm a solid writer. (that sentence notwithstanding.) obviously i'm no anne carson or a.s. byatt, but i'd give myself a solid B average for overall quality. so i guess i figured that if someone was going to steal my stuff, it would be because of that. but, no. instead of merely suffering the insult of being plagiarised, i was forced to also suffer the much, much worse indignity of having a story that is absolutely freakin' beautiful in places -- and i do say so myself -- taken apart and put back together like frankenstein's monster.seriously, even now, i am still so much more offended by how dreadful they made the fic than by the actual plagiarism. a copy and paste job i could understand! that fic is good, damn it! that is some A-grade sh*t right there. but how can anyone have so little respect for writing, or for language, just in general that they’d take something and then ruin it to claim it as theirs? ugh, it’s so dreadful.

...wanna see? ;Dmost of it is still available on the wayback machine.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?i feel like maybe someone did once ask me if they could? but i have no confidence that that actually happened, so i don’t know. anyway, i’ve got a blanket permission statement in my profile, so it’s possible that someone has translated something and i’m just not aware of it. or i was aware and i forgot. these are all possibilities. i’m a very unreliable narrator.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?no. it's something i've long been interested in trying, and there have been a couple of people i've wanted to try it with, but i can only imagine i'd be a nightmare for someone else to work with, so i've never broached the topic.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?once upon a time i would've said Mulder/Scully but i'm sad to admit that's no longer the case. while Elizabeth/Darcy is now my most enduring ship, i really can't say it's my all-time favourite (though it's in the top 5, certainly). i think, at this point, given the word count devoted to them, and the number of hours i've spent thinking, writing, and making gifs of them, it's going to have to be Walt/Vic. our relationship is only six years old, but those six years represent an output that exceeds all the years of all my other ships combined.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?yeah, see, there's a reason why i don't post real WIPs. (with one current exception that i’m still actively working on). actually there are more than a hundred reasons, scattered across a variety of documents on my hard drive. i doubt i'll finish any of them, but this way no one’s disappointed except me, and i was disappointed to begin with.

15. What are your writing strengths?i'm able to compose grammatically correct sentences and i actually know what words mean. oh, sorry, was that overly sardonic? let me try again. sex and feelings. those are my strengths. i’m good at writing sex and i’m good at writing feelings and when you put those two things together you have most of my fic.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?getting bogged down in details or overly convoluted metaphors, anything resembling plot, actually writing things. (see above re: over a hundred WIPs.)

17. What are you thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?i'm pretty sure i've never had any thoughts on the topic. nobody told me there was a prerequisite for this meme!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?The X Files. the year was 2006 and i was 29. that's right, kids. i was late to the fandom party. also i am middle agéd. run away! run away!

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?i don't have one. i feel affectionately towards some for different reasons; there are some i don't like at all; a few i'm particularly proud of, whether or not i actually like them. basically, my feelings about my own writing are very complicated. i will say that i think Darlin', everything's on fireis one of the best things i've ever written. even there some bits make me wince when i read it, though. (and now the song is stuck in my head again. damn it.)

▪︎

i will tag @sarking, @sqbr, @wendelah, and @ziparumpazoo if they feel like it, because they’re the only ones i can think of right now, but any other fic writers who want to participate, please consider yourself tagged. below you’ll find the list of questions (with my edit) for your convenience:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?2. What’s your total AO3 word count?3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?4. Do you respond to comments; why or why not?5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziestmost ridiculous one you’ve ever written?8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?11. Have you ever had a fic translated?12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?15. What are your writing strengths?16. What are your writing weaknesses?17. What are you thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

5 notes · View notes

Did Kai have any sort of family after losing her foster family and becoming the Demon King? Or did she only have her husband?

Yes actually!!! A lot of Kai’s own story involves her own found family collection (i say collection just. cuz she tends to outlive them)

I’ve briefly mentioned she has a few kids and you see them in one of my sketchbook tours

but she also has a group of friends who she was close to

and the opening chapter of one of her ‘stories’ involves her dealing with the loss of a close friend she considered family (she even tried to go through legal means to see him but when humans turned around and said f*ck you she snuck in. I can actually post this writing if people wanna read it?)

She also has some of her adoptive family still alive tho the bloodline is thinner. The Hellsing family she was raised in still exists to a point in her story (before the great catastrophe at least) Her whole ‘became the demon king’ thing happened when her uncle attacked her but she was able to get her sister in law and unborn nephew to escape while she distracted the rest (i have a whole ass animatic planned for this to the song “monster” from frozen’s musical. someday. someday I’ll be able to sit down on it weep)

This nephew was the one who hired Ren to help find “the king of fear” as she was known at that point. Alex is a good boy. His son was the one who went to find his great aunt after Ren’s death and she fully became a fallen god and offered her a place to stay and just. try to relax. She ended up falling into a deep sleep for a while and his family was the ones to build the ‘tomb’ she normally rests in when ever she has these extreme ‘low energy’ periods which can last between 5 years to her longest one was 5000. Typically she’ll rest for between 20-50 years at a time. and there’s a legit reason she does this too. But that’s not about family---

Point is that family is still very fond of their matriarchal demoness and she helped them found “Prometheus” a group to help humans deal with monsters and monsters live in peace. (cuz boy howdy do people have trigger fingers) there are other groups in their world with either similar goals or ones to ‘suppress’ monsters (example: The Order is a group who sees monsters as tools and lesser beings. sometimes Prometheus is forced to work with them and normally they send strong demons or dragons and such so that The Order can’t do anything to their operative. it was on one of these collaborations that Kai kidnapped Booberry from them. she regrets nothing.)

Kai often just refers to the current descendant as just “her nephew” as she’s too lazy to shove the amount of “great” in front of it because she’s old. there’s only one case of a niece and that’s where the bloodline ended (again that’s another story all together)

When Kai woke up after the Great Catastrophe alone she ended up meeting a young man named Leo (who if you look in Kai’s tag on my blog you can see him!) Who she bonded with and she likes hanging out with (and there’s other things but I’m not gonna talk about it)

There’s also her ‘generals’ and a few of them are gonna show in TLC soon (just a brief cameo) A group of 4 who’ve met Kai in a few incarnations and they always tend to get along. Original names were Matt, Trisha, Faith, and Maki is Maki (she’s an elf so she lives longer) Current names are Byron, Tiffny, Jacob and Maki. These four actually form Ren’s party when he’s trying to find his wife at the actual start of “Nightmare’s Dream” and you learn they each have a connection to Kai through the story.

Matt/Branden/Byron; he’s featured in the writing I mentioned up top, he’s kinda similar to Leo in the way he interacts with Kai as an almost human morality pet for Kai. He used to be Kai’s student when she was teaching, and his father was the warden at the jail her friend Sammy was in (this is the friend she lost) Matt can see through her disguise when she’s showcasing nightmares. Kai can cause hallucinations on targets using her ‘fear’ hence her title “king of fear” and normally they are only visible to her and her target. But Matt can see them.

He ends up getting in trouble a few times; once with a tribe of demons who want to turn children into imps, once with the literal Anti christ, once with a haunted house. And each time Kai was there and ends up saving him.

Matt later is in an accident and ends up reincarnating as a winged human named Branden and has all his past memories. So when he starts working at Prometheus as one of their ‘informants’ (aka he goes to gather information in both human and supernatural affairs. he’s referred to often as the angel of trust because of his silver tongue) and he meets her again he shouts something from one of his classes with her causing her to snap back on reflex until she realizes (running joke is Kai loathes Julius Ceaser and if you say his name she always whips around shouting “WAS A slu*t AND A HARLOT” in a very aggressive tone. It makes people laugh when she does and she always gets embarrassed afterwards)

The two of them end up working together for a while and become good friends (and maybe a bit more but they never state really) but then when with his new work partner Trisha (nicknamed angel of death, she works in the sector that deals with cleanup) he ends up betraying Prometheus and Trisha rips his wings off and kills him (this is the context between the ‘redraw’ meme I do every few years of a man with a bleeding back drowning)

Trisha is also someone who grew close to Kai (hence she killed Branden because his folly led to Kai nearly going berserk) but she was killed by a sleeper agent from the order. And this is how Kai lost two of her close friends.

Now backing up to Sammy the inmate one; he was with her when Kai met her first child, the young moon goddess Artemis. Arty is a constant for the demoness ever since she picked her up in the woods (her arc also has one of my favorite kai lines: (which i can’t find the direct line but)

Sam shuddered as he looked around the woods, “Do you ever feel like there’s 100 eyes watching you?”

“Yes but it didn’t work out so we broke up.” The demon responded flatly as she looked around with a deep set scowl.

While she was out with Sammy when he was hunting they ended up finding a little girl who turned out to be a new goddess and her elder sister was kidnapped by the embodiment of Greed in his attempt to become a god. Kai ends up stopping this but also kinda ends up becoming Arty’s mom. While she doesn’t raised Arty fully she does do a lot of teaching and such for her and does refer to her as “her daughter” and Arty calls her mom. when the great catastrophe occurs, Arty is one of the few gods who remained when the rest went to new ‘realms’ or simply vanished and is considered one of the main gods of their world because of this.

And then there’s her son Ganon, an Orc Lord she adopted when his village was ruined. he currently poses as her ‘demon king’ while she pretends to be the chancellor (this is the ruse she uses. normally heroes will fight the ‘king’ and lose but if they actually are a threat or have poor reasoning she kills them from behind. this is also how the story starts as someone found a spell to try and incapacitate her buttt)

There’s also morte and her daughter demeter (I’ve shown them before, a set of necromancers) who she’s very friendly with. Demeter even calls her aunty Kaya and loves to sit on her lap and such during meetings. (i have one snippet when Kai was recruiting someone to their side but hadn’t told her yet she was the REAL demon king and Demeter was sitting on her lap laughing) Morte is thankful to Kai for saving her circus (Morte runs a circus that helps those stuck in limbo pass on but at one point demons of sin over took it in a way to gather souls)

There’s also her friend Ciera, the daughter of the girm reaper. she’s Kai’s best friend for the most part of her life, and is the one who helps Ren when the gods of life and death try to prevent him from reincarnating again (which is like other things a whole other story) (she also briefly shows in Bone Stealer at one point. While visiting bunny’s sick grandmother, Bunny and Steve run into Ciera as she’s leaving. Steve stops Bunny from attacking her) She’s over all chill.

There’s also Nicki. Kai’s ‘twin’ brother. He’s the ‘bad guy’ through the arc that contains Leo and sets up ‘the great Split’ that Kai will cause (this is lore/plot stuff) He originally was raised to hate her by their maternal Uncle who’s a arch mage like Ren however he’s fallen due to his hatred of Kai’s birth. Nicki is not really her brother (in the first life) but a failed clone of the demoness. When Kai is reborn Nicki gets to actually be her brother and the two get along really well and he’s very protective of his sister now that he understands what her actual deal is and not the bs his uncle fed him. Before the rebirth too Nicki helped kai solve some stuff and worked with her until his death (unlike her, he was not immortal)

And then Kai actually has two bio children with Ren! Akito her son takes after her and he’s the one who takes over her role as the true demon king of Tir-Na-Nocht so she’s able to die and try life again, and a daughter, Rei who takes after Ren in looks but... she’s a himbo. pure moron. she got her grandpa’s himbo gene strong. She’s a cat girl who works with her brother and she is the head of the guard.

Aki actually has his own story where he grew up in a ‘mundane’ world but then his entire class got ‘isekaid’ to another. it gets shown that this isn’t truly the case. the great ‘split’ mentioned above was Kai literally broke the world in two realms. She made one primarily humans and high tech and then the other was magic and mostly monsters. there are a mix of both but it cut down heavily on the murder. She raised Aki in the human side for his and Rei’s safety due to them being the children of a fallen god (mama worries) and Aki inherited his mother’s odd ‘status’ “Hero/Demon King” so he has to not expose his demon nature and also stay below the radar (it turns out the person who summoned them was attempting to break a centuries old treaty) until his mother and father can figure out what happened to him (thankfully he can go to a church and his older sister Arty can act as a messenger but there’s a bit of a time split in the worlds) That world is actually the one “Fae Rules” takes place in o7o.

She also is friends with a dead prince named “Shade” (yes this is who you think it is) as well as her ‘cousin’ Sena (who she loves to give sh*t to)

And in her second life she obvs has her brother, cousins, her father (her father’s boyfriend/her manny), aunt’s etc!!!

So yes; she had family other than her husband!!!! And she cherishes them all.

2 notes · View notes

735

Hola, hablas espanol?Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it.Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song?No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head.Do you use AIM? What's your screen name?No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore.How many cell phones have you gone through in your life?I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven.Do you have a little sister? What's her name?Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming?I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away.Can you crack your joints? Which ones?Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway.What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl?I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel.Are you good at answering trick questions?I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know.Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both?I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha.Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly?Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like‘occasionally.’Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today?I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day.Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who?I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the f*cking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked.Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them?I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy.What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer?I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class.What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite?4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha.What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing?It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended?Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense.Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins?I don’t think so.Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's?I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card.Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other?I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9.Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up?She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about.Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly?Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the ideaof someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body.Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing?Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside.Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt.It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM.When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy?2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is.What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger?I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet?Nope. I find them very interesting though.Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something.That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy sh*t. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year.Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what?Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint.Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with?Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha.Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you?JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one.What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it?Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one.How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed?Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs.What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess?Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers.Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly?Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeeeWhat's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober?I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved.When was the last time you bled? What happened?I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago.Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why?Nope.Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of?I do not.When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house?In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though.Tell me about your day today. :)It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakaninto celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing.Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets?I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them.Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you?My sister graduated in 2018.Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go?Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

2 notes · View notes

the first half of the ask post you didn't reblog because you're doing them all anyways

Thanks, me!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?Option 7, None of the above: highball glass. I looked up the glassware model I like; apparently the manufacturer calls them “nordic cooler glasses.” I much prefer glassware made of glass to any other type, and dislike the ridges/patterns on a lot of drinking glasses. Yep, I’m this picky.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?Chocolate. I like chocolate’s texture and the way it melts, and I don’t like eating bits of paper.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?Cotton candy. Bubblegum is gross.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?Uhh… hm. “Smart,” probably, which wasn’t particularly helpful. They probably had a bunch more to say but I don’t remember what anymore.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?I like this ask post! As mentioned, glass cups. I like how soda cans feel in the hand but the drinking experience is just alright. Plastic is just unpleasant.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?I had to google “boho” and I’m still not super clear on what it encompasses, but it seems kinda neat! Also I have no idea what grunge really means. If I had a feminine body and thus felt like dressing up, I’d definitely pick boho out of the google image results of each of those terms.

7. earbuds or headphones?Both; if I wear either for too long I switch to the other for comfort. But I’m at least somewhat an audio enthusiast, so I could go on for a long time here. Ex:

The soundstage of open-back headphones is really unparalleled for one. Apple’s earpods/airpods actually fit me and have basically no microphonics, which usually are a big issue with IEMs for me, plus their resolution on the high end is surprisingly great.

Insert the rest of this discussion here.

8. movies or tv shows?I watch either of these not from seeking them out but from circ*mstance, but often wind up liking them. I’m one of those people who thinks, “I’d watch that,” and then never watches whatever that was. So I don’t really know which I do or would prefer.

9. favorite smell in the summer?Uh… hm. That’s a really good question. What’s most interesting about it, I think, is just the list of smells people associate with a season. Of course there’s environmental ones like rain, but for summer I assume you have to go with, I dunno, fair food or something like that.

Anyway, no idea! I can’t think of a lot of meaningful smells that aren’t food, honestly.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?I remember enjoying capture the flag a lot. I dunno if I was actually good at it, though. I did have pretty good short-duration speed, so I was a decent defender. I don’t really remember what else we did.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?Nothing. (I don’t like most American breakfast foods much, though that’s not why.)

12. name of your favorite playlist?I called it “the playlist which is entirely fire” because why not. Alternately, the playlist with all of my music is just named after me.

13. lanyard or key ring?Key ring; I’m not a… yeah actually that joke would only work for people who went to my high school and follow this blog (hi Xander).

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?That’s also a really good question and I’m positive I have an answer, but I can’t think of it. I eat candy once every like 3 months, so it doesn’t exactly come to mind easily. The candied pecans I just tried are pretty good, though. Insert reference to my halloween fanfiction.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?Y'know how there are some things that you remember deciding at one point were your favorite, but don’t remember well enough to properly consider now? A lot of my favorite pieces of media are like that, but I have at least some confidence in the decision I made at the time. Not so much here. I remember thinking with surprise that I enjoyed The Mill on the Floss when I read it in class, so that’s what comes to mind, but I think it’s the wrong answer. I’m pretty sure there are some books I really enjoy that I’ve forgotten were originally for class. Random example that I think is also wrong: The Hobbit. The Giver is pretty darn good, too. Fahrenheit 451. I don’t remember this being the case but we might have read A Wrinkle in Time in a class. Et cetera.

Wait, no, actually, I figured it out: Island of the Blue Dolphins. (Which, actually, goes in the “this might be too much of a childrens’ book to enjoy rereading” category along with Summerland, The Great Tree of Avalon, The Marino Mission, What the Moon Saw, The Secret of Platform 13, and Island of the Aunts, all of which I loved at the time of reading. And potentially also The Book Thief, although I doubt it. Can you tell I like award-winning children’s books, though?)

16. most comfortable position to sit in?With crossed legs or on my feet, which people seem to find weird.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?I only have one regularly-used pair of shoes.

18. ideal weather?Still. I can’t stand wind of any kind. A range of temperatures is nice (not too hot; not *too* cold but snow is pretty so I’ll allow a wide range in that direction.)

19. sleeping position?In a ball, or at least partially curled up.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?I haven’t written on paper in like a decade. I had to recently in order to leave a sticky note on something and had actual trouble making it legible. Essentially everything I write is on this 2013 Macbook Pro keyboard.

21. obsession from childhood?Um… existentialism? The pretend world my sisters’ and my stuffed animals lived in? Popular science topics and things from video game worlds, all of which went into said pretend world? Jet aircraft? Algebra and geometry puzzles? Configuring laptop computers?

22. role model?John Green. People who can communicate/present things effectively.

23. strange habits?I’m sure I have a ton. I’m not going to delay posting this to come up with any, but I’ll think about it. But especially if we’re using western society as the ‘norm’ for the sake of the question, I think there’s a ton of stuff I do that’d surprise people.

24. favorite crystal?Hm. I like the colorless ones like diamond, I guess? I just generally like gemstones, especially in fiction when they have powers. Oh, how’s this: I tend to like crystals that are (semi)transparent, so they have depth to them and change appearance as they’re rotated.

The other weird, mostly-unrelated thing that comes to mind is when I made a necklace for my best friend in elementary school and spent a lot of effort picking out the right sort of pendant, but I don’t think it was actually a crystal. (I often wonder what it would’ve been like if I hadn’t moved; I bet we’d still be close.)

25. first song you remember hearing?Neat question! I have no memory of a particular song being the first. My parents played music a lot when I was little, so a lot of their CD collection makes me think, “I’ve been listening to this since far before I noticed that I was.” The most recent one of those I heard and wrote down was Cathedral of the Pines by Tim Janis.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?…complain about the heat? :D Hm, I don’t have a lot of outdoor hobbies.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?…complain about the cold? :P I do like to ski somewhat. And I like hot cocoa.

28. five songs to describe you?

Eric’s Song – Vienna Teng

Doubt – Ruby Day

…hm. Looking through my playlists and the #media tag on this blog, there’s a ton of songs that I like, and where that fact tells you something about my taste in music, but it’s hard to find songs whose content particularly tells you something. Let’s just go with songs I find some meaning or relevance in?

Laughing With – Regina Spektor

Rainbow Connection – Kermit the Frog/various covers

Okay, I ran out of songs with particular meaning; let’s finish up with one whose meaning is arguably a lack of particular meaning?

Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell

29. best way to bond with you?Talking, I guess. Boring answer, maybe, but I think most bonding experiences I’ve had were just two people talking about something important.

30. places that you find sacred?My elementary school? Is that a weird answer?

Other than that… a lot of places, really. Depending how you use “sacred,” I think it could apply in my mind to lots of unique places, especially natural-wonder type things.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?I haven’t got one. None of my clothes are things I’ve picked out to look good, honestly. The thing that makes me feel more “ready to go out and kick ass than usual” is, like, bringing a phone charger with me in case I run out of battery in the process of whatever ass kicking it’s going to be, and that’s not an outfit thing.

32. top five favorite vines?Remember vine? Good times.

1. A Legendary Argument (https://vine.co/v/enUmZjLFgw2/); the“just do it”“no” one

Yeah, that’s it. I don’t know of any other ones.

33. most used phrase in your phone?I… don’t know how to tell. That sounds like a cool thing to figure out but I dunno how to see that.

34. advertisem*nts you have stuck in your head?None, thank god.

35. average time you fall asleep?Too late.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?No idea.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?I don’t really know what context to think of this question in. Like, is there a time both would be valid options? Anyway, suitcase. Honorable mention: backpack.

38. lemonade or tea?I only like either of these in moderation. Usually I’d say lemonade, but lately I’ve been disliking acidic drinks more than usual, so maybe I’ll say tea. Actually, what I like is chrysanthemum tea, which you can get at dim sum places sometimes.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?I’ll go with lemon cake. I can only eat a really small amount of lemon meringue. If someone made more of a lemon meringue tart with a really thin layer of lemon (maybe 10mm or a bit less) and a lot of crust and meringue, that could be really good though.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?If “bad” counts as “weird,” let’s just say it involved sexual misconduct.

41. last person you texted?My dad (a link to instructions to get free in-flight wifi; nothing interesting).

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?I prefer to put stuff in pants pockets so I have them if I take off my jacket, but then my pants fall down because I have no hips and my pants are all regular-person sized.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?I immediately crossed off everything except hoodie and cardigan. With a different body I’d definitely pick cardigan.

44. favorite scent for soap?Unscented.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?Eh, I mean, I think they all have potential. I’d pick sci-fi or fantasy over superhero; print comics have never interested me at all, though I’m sure there’s interesting stuff in there too.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?I feel like it’s just whatever you’re used to, honestly.

47. favorite type of cheese?Maybe fresh mozzarella? Either way, it’s going to be something people who really like cheese would barely count as cheese.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?If I were a fruit… not to take it too literally, but I can’t think of a better way to interpret it. Um… a ground cherry, because it’s cute and has a place to hide in.

49. what saying or quote do you live by?“Hope is the correct response to the human condition.”

There are probably better ones that correspond to things I live by more, but that’s the one I have a quote for. Guess who it’s by? I’ll give you one guess.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?Not sure. Show of the Weekend(@outsidextra) definitely wins “hardest laugh that I can remember recently” though.

1 note · View note

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Those antique metal, enamel coated cups.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Idk, I was a pretty normal child.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Depends on where the soda comes from honestly.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I really like fashion, but goth fashion out of those.

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones are preferable

8. movies or tv shows?

Why not both?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

The rain, always.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Dodgeball I guess, the part where you don’t get hit, not throwing lol.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Sleep.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

It’s just called Mood Dump. Lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

key chains

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Probably Jolly Ranchers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

If it was an assigned one I don’t remember, they always made us read the same ones over and over.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Indian style, always

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

just some grey slip on ones

18. ideal weather?

cold, raining, clouds overcast in the sky with a bit of a breeze

19. sleeping position?

half on the side, half on the stomach with a leg pushed up haha

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

On my laptop, it’s easier to be able to spit out words as fast as possible

21. obsession from childhood?

BATMAN

22. role model?

Kyo from Dir En Grey

23. strange habits?

I eat my food one item at a time a lot, don’t know why

24. favorite crystal?

idk does Amythest count? I like those as well as Emeralds

25. first song you remember hearing?

Probably something from Disney movies

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Stay inside in the air conditioning lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Just stand outside and inhale the air deeply

28. five songs to describe you?

In no particular order, without context:

1) Tousei - Dir En Grey2) Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls3) The Final - Dir En Grey4) Glass Skin - Dir En Grey5) Heavy - Linkin Park

29. best way to bond with you?

Talk to me about the food and movies you love

30. places that you find sacred?

Anywhere in nature that feels untouched by the world really

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Batman’s costume

32. top five favorite vines?

I don’t even remember any at this point lol

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Probably something like“alrighty”

34. advertisem*nts you have stuck in your head?

For some reason I always remember“It’s pizza time”

35. average time you fall asleep?

My sleep schedule is as chaotic as I am lmao

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

idk ones probably before I knew what memes even were

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase all the way

38. lemonade or tea?

Black, iced, sweet tea only.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

No, I hate citrus desserts.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Once in middle school in language arts, I just heard my teacher say to a kid in my class suddenly:“Brandon, put your penis away.”

41. last person you texted?

Matt I think

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

pants pockets are invaluable

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

I love how bomber jackets look, but I am a hoodie person through and through

44. favorite scent for soap?

Cherry Blossom

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Superhero is not a genre? But I choose horror anyway.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

T-shirt, pajama pants allllllll the way

47. favorite type of cheese?

Swiss

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Pineapple I guess, the outside does not match the inside lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Here’s a handful.��Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”“Treat others how you want to be treated.”“Let it go, Let it be.” "Face the abyss, but don't let it consume you."

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Just way too many things that would take too long to list.

51. current stresses?

Haha, loaded question fam

52. favorite font?

Segoe UI

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Soft, with a scrape on my thumb and a new scar on my right ring finger lmao

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Adults play more games than kids do

55. favorite fairy tale?

If Red Riding Hood counts that one

56. favorite tradition?

Watching horror movies with my Mom

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?Losing my DadBeing very personally betrayed by someoneEveryone I get close to eventually walking out on me

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Idk I’m just me fam

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I don’t know what the f*ck I’m doing.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Something with magic and travel

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Feed me Seymour!”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Spike - Cowboy BebopSnorlax - PokemonThat being said I’m too lazy to come up with the other 5 right now

63. five songs that would play in your club?

People lost their sh*t when“Yeah” by Usher played every time

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Gaia Online

65. any permanent scars?

Yeah a few but nothing major

66. favorite flower(s)?

White Roses, White Lotus, ones I don’t know the names of

67. good luck charms?

My 22 pound fat ass orange cat Genji

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I’m just gonna go with brussels sprouts

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

the one where pineapple eats you back

70. left or right handed?

I’m mostly left handed but also right handed with some things

71. least favorite pattern?

idk?

72. worst subject?

Math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

probable elote

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

somewhere between 5 and 7 depending on my mood

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I was probably like 6?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Gonna have to say au gratin potatoes man

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

whatever makes you happy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

gas station coffee is a special thing

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

my old school photo for sure lol

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

what are jewel tones? tf

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs yo

82. pc or console?

PS4

83. writing or drawing?

writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

music please

84. barbie or polly pocket?

barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

both fam

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

I’ve already lived most of them so who cares but lets go with drowning

88. your greatest wish?

that my anxiety would f*ck off forever

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My cat lol

90. luckiest mistake?

I’m not sure?

91. boxes or bags?

they do two very different jobs tf

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

moonlight please

93. nicknames?

Uru, Kyo, Rea

94. favorite season?

Winter

95. favorite app on your phone?

idk idc

96. desktop background?

A drawing I liked

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

like 3

98. favorite historical era?

Victorian

1 note · View note

AVA MAX - SO AM I

[3.44]

"Everybody messages every day," Ava laughs. "They're like, 'Oh my gosh, my husband just called me psycho, this is so relatable!' [or] 'My girlfriend says I'm psycho for doing this or that.' So the relatability on the song is just out of this world!"

Will Adams: "It's okay to be different," Ava Max sings over a song that bends over backwards to recreate its predecessor's success.[3]

Alfred Soto: Trying hard not to fit the format and to be different -- yes, I see. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: I feel less bad about my chronic procrastination now that I know DJ Earworm releases his year-end mashups in March. A pitch meeting for the new Gaga, with the lyrics of Katy Perry ("do you ever feel like a misfit bag? You're king and you're queen, you're strong but you're weak, you're in then you're out..."), with tentative head voice to sound like Ariana and reluctantly borrowed rap flows ("youdon't -- haveto --") to sound like Rihanna, with a "challenge" like those challenged by meme marketers past, all to recapitulate Electra Heart or pre-cancellation Melanie Martinez. Everything is cliche half-received: Cheap perfume is cheap because it's perceptible less, not more, "Killer Queen" is a song about... not this, and Harley Quinn and Sid and Nancy are, respectively, two huge films and about 50 cursory namedrops from being edgy. Isn't there anyone outside Generation X to glamorize? [2]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The lyrics are less annoying than those of "Sweet but Psycho" despite covering similar themes, and "So Am I" works because it feels just as fit for the stage as it does the radio. Ava Max talks to the audience, wanting to encourage and empathize with them, and her theater-kid affectations finally make sense in the context of the song. Maybe next time we'll get something more original. [6]

Iris Xie: Why would I want an amorphous blob of a theatre-kid-turned-pop-star to tell me about how I am "dark and twisted" on the inside? I know my own personal darkness, and it's nowhere near as boring as this piece of extruded silly putty. Ava Max, daughter of Betamax, sings about how it's "okay to be different" and how "you don't have to fit into the format" and that she understands because "so am I" -- but she doesn't! She really doesn't. Because "So Am I" is too glossy, frictionless, and secure in its faithfulness to academic pop form to express any real angst -- you can sing about being "dark and twisted," but if the prerogative is to make pop music that fits all the rules, then what is truly dark or twisted? It is twisted to have a void tell you about how to dance to your angst, especially if it is taking twice as long as it should to bore you to death.[3]

Scott Mildenhall: If ever there were a crystallisation of the pop-cultural triplethink over the commodification of mental health issues, the stigmatisation of mental health issues and non-specific Celebrations of Difference, it's rewording something called "Sweet But Psycho" into this face-swap app glitch of a song (one that still finds time to haphazardly romanticise Sid Vicious) and releasing it as its follow-up. "So Am I" rings hollow... but at least it does have that ring to it.[6]

Vikram Joseph: Ava Max's continued use of "psycho", "twisted" and "crazy" as tropes doesn't even register as offensive, just incredibly tedious. Musically, it's a barely adequate Lady Gaga B-side grown in a petri dish by scientists who've never actually heard a Lady Gaga song, but have once, way back, read a description of what one sounds like.[3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: This sounds like a pop song from a low budget children's animated movie about pop music, and not even in an endearing way.[3]

Ian Mathers: As much as this kind of "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same" stuff made me cringe when I was a literal teenager who liked plenty of Hot Topic-and-adjacent stuff, there absolutely are young people for whom this will be their lifeline, and more power to them. The real problem, and the real cringe, is when you get stuck in this sentiment; you're less living for yourself and more frozen in opposition to whatever harmful normative structure you're living in. Anyway, the comfort it might give people aside, song sucks. [2]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

1 note · View note

Tag Meme. Tagged by @sambamart

Thanks for the tag :) ♡♡

1. Relationship Status: single.

2. Lipstick or Chapstick: probably chapstick but I don't really use/wear either v often.

3. 3 Fav Foods: Slovenian pancakes. Those are to die for. Then homemade chicken noodle soup- super simple but still the best. Also cheese ravioli in lobster sauce. Rarely ever have it, but it is my true love in life.

4. Song Stuck In Your Head: Für Elise. I just read the story about why Beethoven wrote it and lemme tell u if the story about it being for Therese Malfatti (the full story not what's on Wikipedia) is really true the man was a crazy drama queen.

5. Last Movie You Watched: Monty Python and the Holy grail. Such a dumbass movie. It is hilarious to see w/ friends though. To give u an idea, this is the most memorable scene in the whole thing.

Guy one: "I'm not dead"

Guy 2: "He says he's not dead"

Guy 3: "Yes he is"

Guy 1: "No I'm not"

Guy 2: "he isn't?"

Guy3: "Well he will be soon he's v ill"

Guy 1: I'm getting better"

Guy 3: "No ur not ull be stone dead in a moment"....

Guy 1: "I feel haaaapppyyy"

Sorry, couldn't get the link to work and I am realizing how weird putting that dialogue in was but whatever.

6. Top Three Shows: The only show I really watch is the big bang theory so that I guess

7. Books Currently Reading: the song of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

8. Last Thing I Googled Binged: never used Bing in my life. In fact, after this, the last thing I googled was 'what is Bing.' P clear in context it's also a search engine. Like Google. I googled it anyway just to check. Don't judge, I already know I'm a dumbass. The thing i had googled before that was nose rings.

9. Time: 11:20 p.m.

10. Dream Trip: Honestly, I couldn't think of a dream trip (weird bc I used to want to travel more than anything) so I'm just going to have to go with what I put under "anything you want" right after this. It's a dance intensive. I explained a little about what it is by way of stress attack in that answer

11. Anything You Want: ummmmhahahahah. What a list. One thing I really want is to go to this summer dance intensive in a city near where I live. Basically, I'd go live in a dorm for 6 weeks over the summer and have dance classes every day and a big performance at the end. Thing is, before going I need several letters of recommendation, I have to audition, have a portfolio and resume, pay audition fees, etc. Then the cost of actually going and getting necessary supplies so I need to save A LOT and basically it's a stress fest but i would loooooove to go.

Rules: Tag 15 people you want to get to know better because of my general flakiness and lack of a consistent presence here, I know hardly anyone and therefore will most certainly not be tagging 15 ppl thank u v much.

@spookylittleweirdo

@gre-ywa-ren

@lynchbrothers

@lynchkavinskyparrish

@hades-demon-daughter

@feysandiseternal

@blog-i-carry-your-heart-with-me

@wrapmeupinplastc

I got up to 8! Cheers.... ngl I've only actually talked to one of these ppl so if my tagging u is annoying/bothersome as f*ck, sorry. If it is, tell me and I won't tag u again

7 notes · View notes

these are all so great so questions for dayyys: 8, 14, 28, 40 (I, The Paradox or We Never Had a Choice?) :)

\o/

Writer ask meme questions

8.Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I don’t really have favorites generally, so I just went back through margin notes on old fics. Here are a couple of paragraphs from a scene between Bucky and James in I, The Paradox:

“I…” Bucky floundered. Nothing he could say would stop the inevitable. “Maybe we could…”

“Don’t. Jesus, Bucky, don’t. We went through this song and dance. Nothing good’s gonna come from trying to change things now,” James’s voice was an insistent whisper Bucky couldn’t have ignored if he wanted to. Bucky had started to pull his hand away, but James caught his wrist, keeping him close. “I got to be me for a little while, but I was always supposed to be you, you idiot.”

“If that was true, this couldn’t have happened,” Bucky insisted. They were only just figuring this out, and in a universe that had spent an awful lot of time and energy sh*tting on the occupants of that bed, this probably took the cake.

“I. Was. An. Accident. You and I both know that. When you make a mess, you clean it up, and this is part of that.” It was a strange, heartbreaking thing to be talking about the end when he could still feel the heat of James’ skin.

It’s not really that I think it’s particularly clever or well written. It’s just that I’m always especially happy when I’m trying to convey something complex and it feels like it lands as intended. There is a somewhat common theme in fandom that Bucky is in some way broken for being what he is. I like that theme. I have been known to indulge in it. Putting him face to face with another version of himself with different life experiences was sort of a unique opportunity to look at that from a different angle though, and entertain the notion that coming out the other side of what he did and being different from how he was before the war isn’t broken at all.

14.What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

This is kind of hard because worst for me is not necessarily bad advice for someone else. Mostly, I think the worst advice is this very specific genre where it’s labeled as“rules”. No matter how generally correct a piece of advice is, there will always be a situation where it’s not. The beauty of there being many writers out there is a diversity of voice, but that means not all advice gets equal mileage with everyone.

28.Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I hope you appreciate how difficult this is because I like so many, many writers and I want to celebrate all of them. Seriously, if you ever want recs, I have them coming out my ears. I went and looked through my AO3 history though. Here are the first three where I clearly liked one thing and then went and read a bunch more of their fics.

@jinlinli

Jin has such an elegant, provocative way with words. It lends itself incredibly well to the stories she tells. There’s a complexity of character and motive that I just can’t get enough of.

I like everything I’ve ever read of hers, but if I had to pick one to rec, it would behow cold steel is (and keen with hunger), especially if you like character study. It’s haunting and so, so well done.

@yetanotherobsessivereader

Okay, first of all, everything she writes is delightful and really well rounded. Her dialogue and character dynamics are fun and feel very true to character.

Before I make this rec, full disclosure. She has tons of works that are sweet and funny and fluffy. Go read them. Seriously. This one just happens to make my angst loving little heart happy. I’ve probably readthere is a tavern in the town (and there my dear love sits him down) at least five times.

@leveragehunters

So, before I got into Cap fandom, I’d always stuck to canon/canon divergent fics in the corners of AO3 I hung out in. Not out of any particular bias against AUs. I just didn’t really understand the appeal.

Then, someone recced me this one really fantastic fic by this author and I was hooked. Leveragehunters writes a lot of my favorite forays into the supernatural.

I think if I were going to rec one fic, it would be True North. It turns out I have a major weakness for the soulmate trope, but what I like about this is that it sort of flies in the face of what I tend to think of in terms of plot. It strikes a really lovely balance between fate and agency and is just all around great.

40.Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

I’m going to sidestep I, The Paradox because it would spoil the next piece of the story. Instead, here is how We Never Had a Choice was originally outlined to go. Under a cut because I’ve rambled on so long already.

Originally, very little of the relationship development you see in the fic was intended to happen. Bucky going after Steve to save him was meant to really be the first hint that he’d moved past how their paths crossed in the first place. They were going to part ways, and Bucky would go home only to realize there was no place where he fit now, and the story was going to end with him tracking Steve down to where he was volunteering with some much more legitimate activist group out actually helping people.

That, however, requires so much context to make sense. Instead, I’m going to give you the ending I wrote before the current one. All you need to know is that nothing after the police station happened in this version. They got in the car and got back on the road, eager to put as much space between them and what happened as they could.

“What do you want to do?” Steve asked around the lump in his throat. He had no right to hope for anything, but the fragile feeling stretched its wings anyway.

“You know? No one has ever asked me that.” From the corner of Steve’s eye, he could see Bucky fidget, his hands clasped in his lap.“It was always whatever was best for the family. I was just an accessory.”

“Was, being the operative word there, I think.” Steve’s stomach felt like rot, but he made himself offer up the very last thing he wanted. Bucky deserved at least that.“I can take you home if you want.”

“It’s not home. It’s just a big, fancy house with some people in it I’m not sure I know anymore.” Bucky turned his head away to look out the window into the night, or maybe to hide his expression.“I’d rather just forget the whole thing ever happened.”

There was no doing that, of course. Steve ignored the traitorous voice at the back of his mind reminding him that he was part of what had happened.“All of it?”

Bucky didn’t answer for so long that Steve could only assume the worst. He kept driving, even though his heart was in a vice grip. If Bucky wanted to go somewhere, Steve would get him there, and if Bucky wanted him to leave… he would go.

“Well, not all of it. Just everything after the elevator.” Bucky was looking at Steve again, the impish twist of his lips defying their circ*mstances.“In fact, I think I know what I want.”

Steve wasn’t sure how Bucky could joke about that given the awful thing he’d done. Come to think of it, maybe that was exactly why. If they could joke about it now, it was less of a smudge on who they became. It wasn’t a trick and Steve knew that, but he couldn’t help the nervous thumping of his heart as he asked.“What’s that?”

The smirk Bucky had offered up before bloomed into a warmer smile that eased the tension in Steve’s spine. “A do over.”

11 notes · View notes

The Princess and the Twins

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): Avengers - Steve Rogers/Captain America

Rating: PG

Original Idea: Single Parent!AU, y’all!

Notes: (Masterlist)(About Me) This is the second LOOOOONG one in a row. (That I wrote not posted.) Wow. It just kinda ran away from me. @steverogersnotebook This is the one I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to finish! (That title sounds like a band name.)

^^^^^

I sat on the bench at the station, waiting for my train. With headphones in and a sad song playing, I stared at the ground. It was my weekly existential crisis of oh-boy-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life time so I was completely lost in my own little world.

Until a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl boosted herself up onto the bench right next to me. She was probably four.

I paused my music and pulled my headphones out, shoving them into my bag.

“Hello,” I greeted, slightly awkwardly, as I looked around for her parents or guardians or whatever—some adults who she was with.

With any luck this kid had been taught Stranger Danger and wouldn’t say much to me, but would let me help her find her grownups while sitting on the same bench. She wasn’t crying so I assumed she hadn’t gotten lost, per se. She probably ran off, distracted by a butterfly in her mind, since the station was indoors.

“Are you a princess?” she asked me.

I looked down at her, confused but also amused, and finally got a good look at her. She was wearing an American flag shirt, frilly denim skirt with cotton shorts underneath, and Velcro kids’ Converse. There was some glittery face paint of a star on her cheek farthest away from me and she had sparkly red nail polish on her tiny fingernails.

Raising my eyebrows, I smiled at her. “Am I a princess?” I repeated back at her cheerfully. “Why do you think I’m a princess?”

“Because princesses are always the prettiest ladies! And princesses wear pretty dresses!”

I tucked the skirt of my dress slightly under my leg and put my hand on my chest. “Aw! You’re so cute. And I’ll tell you a secret.” I bent forward a little in a non-threatening way. “I am a princess!” I stage-whispered near her ear. My whole grownup life I’d done my best to encourage imagination in the children around me—my neighbors’ kids and grandkids, my nieces and nephews, my young cousins—because I felt like imagination was a resource that some people were losing but other people never ran out of.

The little girl gasped. “You are?!” she stage-whispered back in awe.

“Yes I am. But you can’t tell anyone, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“RED!” a frantic voice shouted.

The girl and I looked up, following the sound.

A handsome, six-foot-two, muscular-as-heck man pushed his way through the small crowd at the station towards us, carrying another little girl in one arm. He had the same blond hair and blue eyes as the girl sitting next to me.

When he broke through the line of people separating us from him, the girl next to me hopped down from the bench. “Dad!” she squealed excitedly, running over to him.

“Red, honey, you can’t go wandering off like that! You scared me!” the man admonished gently, picking her up in his other arm. The second little girl was probably the same age as the first, but looked frail and younger. She had brown hair and brown eyes. Her eyes were sharp even if her legs and arms were thin for being around four.

“But, but, Dad! I found a princess!” Red told the man. He looked past her small face at me. I gave an awkward single wave, just tilting my wrist down and setting my hand back on my leg. The man approached me.

“I am so sorry if she was bothering you. She’s a bit of a handful. They both are.”

I shrugged. “It’s no problem. She was no bother. I have a lot of experience with kids.”

“See, Dad?” Red pressed, trying for quiet and utterly failing. Kids were so cute. “She’s in a pretty dress, she’s pretty, and she told me she was a princess!”

“I see that, sweetheart,” the man acknowledged. He turned back to me. “I’m Steve, by the way.” He paused for a moment. “Uh… I’d shake your hand, but… my hands are full.” He looked at his hands as he spoke, each cradling one of his daughters.

I laughed and stood up, slinging my bag securely onto my shoulder. “It’s fine. A slight breach of etiquette for a good reason is no breach of etiquette at all to me,” I dismissed.

Red didn’t like being ignored, apparently, and Steve wasn’t picking up on what she was trying to say. “Dad!” she complained. “You’re a king! So you have to marry a princess to have a queen!” Her tone was full of a “duh!” tone.

Steve blushed. “Sorry,” he muttered to me. “Ever since their mom died, Red here has been determined to find me a new ‘queen.’”

I chuckled. “No problem. She’s cute.”

“Dad!” Red protested. “She’s the first princess we’ve met! Aren’t you going to at least try to make her your queen?”

“Red, sweetheart, how about I give her my phone number, and she gives me hers, and then I can let her see if she would like to meet me again?”

“Okay!” Red replied brightly.

Steve sighed and gave me a small grin as I pulled out my phone. “I’ll forgive you if you just tell me your number instead of typing it into my phone yourself,” I commented casually, creating a new contact and writing Steve into the first-name section with an American Flag emoji next to it, taking a context clue for me later from Red’s outfit.

He recited his phone number as I plugged it in, and then showed him to make sure I got it right.

“That’s it,” he informed me.

I sent him a text with my name. “And now you have mine.”

“Daddy?” the other little girl asked. “Why didn’t Auntie Nat come with us?”

“Because she wanted to stay with her other nieces and nephews for another couple days. But I wish she’d come with us because then I’d have someone else to watch you two crazy kids,” Steve replied.

“Well, what train are you on?” I wondered.

“The eleven-twenty back to New York.”

“Hey so am I. If you want, I can sit by you and keep an eye on these two. I promise I’m not a kidnapper or anything.”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t ask you to—”

“Nonsense. If I spend the ride alone I’ll just listen to music and fall into the void of What-am-I-doing-with-my-life. I’d be happy to help.”

“Well… if you really wouldn’t mind…” Steve began.

“She wouldn’t!” Red put in enthusiastically.

Her frail little sister rolled her eyes.

“Red, leave that up to the princess,” Steve chastised gently. Red pouted.

“Well she’s right. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Well, then, princess, if you’d care to join us, I’d love to escort you to the train.”

I chuckled and readjusted my bag strap on my shoulder. “I’d consider it an honor, Your Majesty,” I remarked, taking his awkwardly-offered elbow. We strolled through the station towards the train we’d be getting on. I noticed that Steve had two little backpacks slung over his shoulders that I hadn’t seen before.

“So, this is Red,” I began, nodding at the blonde little girl. “But I don’t think you told me your name, sweetpea.” I looked at the brunette entreatingly.

Wide-eyed, she looked to her dad. He smiled and nodded. “You can tell her, honey,” he murmured.

“Peggy,” the little girl told me.

Steve grinned. “Their real names are Sarah and Margaret,” he explained. “Sarah was my mother’s name. But this little one’s favorite color is red so her uncle started calling her Red and it stuck.” He gave Red a pointed glance so I knew which twin he was talking about.

I nodded understandingly. “I see. I like Red. It’s a fun nickname.”

We reached the train. Steve jumped over the gap between the platform and the interior with ease, set Red down, and offered me his hand. I took it and let him help me hop the gap myself before he scooped his obviously-more-adventurous daughter back up. “Let’s go find some seats,” he told his girls. Peggy gave a tiny little nod and Red smiled widely with a more enthusiastic nod. I followed them down the aisle of the train until Steve found an open booth with a little table and four seats. “Here alright?” he asked me.

“Of course,” I answered.

“Mind if Red sits by you next to the window so she doesn’t run off?”

I laughed and held my hands out for the blonde twin. “Not at all.” She leaned towards me. I took her in my arms and set her down on the seat next to the window before taking the aisle seat for myself. Peggy sat across from her sister and Steve sat across from me. Red blabbered about “Uncle Bucky” and “Uncle Sam”—the latter of which made me furrow my eyebrows and think of those I Want YOU posters that turned into memes—for a while and Peggy doodled on a little notebook covered in scribbles.

“Princess?” Red asked after a couple minutes, poking me in the leg.

“Yes, sweetpea?”

“What’s it like running a kingdom?”

“It’s a lot of hard work—and I’m still learning how to do it—but it makes me a good leader and a thoughtful person. I have to carefully consider my actions and make the best decisions I can with what I have to work with. It’s not an easy job, but it is a good job.”

Red watched with rapt attention—even Peggy looked up from her notebook. Steve was grinning between me and his daughter.

I felt my phone buzz in my purse.

You certainly have a way with kids. It was from Steve.

I smiled across the table at him and shrugged. “I have a lot of kids in my family that I interact with,” I explained.

“Would you mind, I don’t know, maybe joining me for dinner some night so I can thank you for being so good to these two today—assuming I can find a babysitter?”

Peggy perked up. “Auntie Nat?” she asked.

“Or Uncle Tony!” Red put in excitedly.

“Not Uncle Tony,” Steve told his blonde daughter. “Last time I let him tend you two he let you play with tools and Peggy almost took her eye out.” Red drooped a little but agreed that wasn’t a good thing.

“I’d love to go to dinner with you whenever you can find a babysitter. I’m free most nights anyway,” I told Steve quietly. He smiled.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Red started to stare out the window and Peggy went back to drawing. They were cute kids—and they had a very handsome dad. I was trying not to notice, but come on, how could one not notice? He was tall, blond, and chiseled.

Steve and I talked quietly during the ride, swaying with the movement of the train. I didn’t want the ride to end. It was just… nice. Pleasant. I hadn’t had such a good conversation with someone I’d just met in a long time. He was just easy to talk to. He had a good personality and when he listened to me talk I felt like he was really listening.

But all good things had to end. Eventually, with screeching brakes that made all four of us cringe, the train ground to a halt in the Big Apple. We were home.

After Steve and I got the girls off the train, he shook my hand. “I look forward to taking you out to dinner.”

“I look forward to joining you,” I replied.

Red looked up at me. “It was nice to meet you, princess,” she offered.

I smiled. “It was lovely to meet you as well.”

Peggy just gave me a timid wave from her dad’s arm. I waved back.

Steve took Red’s hand and the three of them went off in the opposite direction to me.

I smiled as I headed home. I liked Steve and his daughters. I couldn’t guarantee our date would go anywhere, but I kinda hoped it would. Poor guy. Single dad raising two daughters all on his own—and at such a young age too!—couldn’t have been easy.

Yeah. If the date went somewhere, maybe one day I could be the queen to his king, as Red suggested.

74 notes · View notes

You know, I’d describe last week’s episode as a guilty pleasure. I enjoyed it but felt...kind of OFF in enjoying it, like I wasn’t supposed to enjoy it. The more I thought about it though, the more things that were in the episode that didn’t make sense at the time began to make sense. As a result of this there are now two ways I view this episode.

The first, which I am assuming is the intended message, is that it’s an episode about the dangers of fame and mass attention from hundreds and hundreds of ponies, with a few nods to the fandom thrown in just for lulz. This version of the episode is somewhat flawed and a lot of stuff doesn’t end up making sense, chief among them being that the admittedly great song that’s still stuck in my head attempts to refute an accusation that I don’t remember any pony in the episode leveling at the mane six.

Their beef with Rarity was that she’s unlikable, not that she’s flawed. They HAVE no beef with Rainbow Dash or Applejack I could see. They think Fluttershy’s character arc is repetitive. They think Pinkie Pie is a one note character. They think Twilight Sparkle has undergone changes that make her less entertaining as a character with some even thinking the premise of the entire show doesn’t work. None of these ponies gathered the mane six together and accused them of being bad because they weren’t perfect.

So in total the literal reading of this episode is that a bunch of ponies had issues with the writing and stories in the journal while completely ignoring that it was a work of non fiction, the mane six completely misunderstood and addressed something that nopony was accusing them of, and the episode ended with nothing resolved and I assume Rarity’s business is going to be just fine for the rest of the season instead of tanking under public pressure until she’s forced to resign from the fashion industry altogether due to being added to various blacklists.

But there’s another reading of this episode, and it makes way, WAY more sense to me but at the same time I’m probably just reading into it too much.

Twilight Sparkle sees two fillies having a fight and threatening to end their friendship over it. She gets them together for a lecture and ends up repeating one of the friendship lessons from years past, which seems to work. This gives her an idea, and she gets her friends together and publishes their collective works for public consumption.

This is symbolic of the show’s staff making the show with a target audience of little girls in mind.

Suddenly the journal they published gets really, really popular with full grown ponies that are suddenly flooding into their lives and breathing down their necks in ways they never ever expected. Rarity gets boycotted despite all the good she’s done, Pinkie Pie’s personality is disregarded save for one trait, Rainbow Dash gets eternally fawned over with nopony even so much as batting an eyelash as she allows foals to follow her toward potentially dangerous lightning clouds, Fluttershy’s progress as a character is completely ignored, Applejack is forced to endlessly expend resources on ponies that feel entitled to it because they want it, and Twilight Sparkle’s entire character arc is summarily designated incorrect.

This is symbolic of the bronies and other adult fans of the show that nobody expected. The individual problems each of the mane six face can also be linked to specific aspects of this flood of fandom. Rarity is at the center of fandom hate, a character the fandom singles out and hates no matter the circ*mstance and they will not relent until the character is killed off or otherwise completely removed from the show. Rainbow Dash is the exact opposite, and is loved unquestioningly with people either ignoring or refuting every single flaw attached to said character no matter how deep or obvious. Pinkie Pie is essentially reduced to an endlessly repeated meme, without a single soul acknowledging other interesting traits of her character. Fluttershy is held to hypocritical standards that her detractors would never stick to themselves, and even if she rises to meet these standards the goal posts are shifted so that she can never win. Finally, Twilight Sparkle, the very core of the show, is seen as inferior and incorrect making one bother why these ponies even bothered to finish the book, or came all this way just to tell the authors how much they suck.

But even more interestingly to me, a bunch of ponies show up on Applejack’s farm, declare themselves her family, and proceed to freeload around while she gives them a bunch of stuff for free. This doesn’t make any sense to me. Applejack is a farm pony, a business mare, and cares deeply about family. Why would she actually give these ponies what they wanted and consider them her family because they just declared it? Surely she realizes that giving a bunch of ponies free stuff for no reason isn’t a sustainable plan? She needs those apples and that cider in order to do business so that Sweet Apple Acres can stay afloat. Why the hay didn’t she just say she appreciates the good sentiments from all her fans and doesn’t mind a visit here and there but that she and her actual family need to run a business and they need to leave? Well...here’s something to think about in regards to that...

How many dollars have you personally thrown at Hasbro for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic related things? How many dollars do you think other fans have thrown at Hasbro for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic related things? Do you watch new episodes on TV when they air where you viewership can be counted up for the ratings number, or do you watch a stream of it later on youtube or dailymotion, where your view doesn’t really help at all? Do you buy My Little Pony merchandise? More specifically, do you buy official My Little Pony merchandise made by Hasbro, the kind of sales that they keep track of and from which they can profit? Commissioning fan work doesn’t really count in that regard, because Hasbro doesn’t see any of that money.

The point is that a no doubt large section of the fan base is enjoying My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic for free, and all their enthusiasm and spreading of the brand is nice but it doesn’t change the fact that they still are not contributing financially to the franchise. This is what Applejack’s predicament in this episode makes me think about.

For the record, I watch streams of new episodes since I don’t get cable or satellite. I have however bought all four Equestria Girls movies and their soundtracks from iTunes. So while I have technically thrown money at Hasbro, I still overall consider myself part of that particular problem for not contributing to the ratings.

Then there’s the song Flawless. As I said before, this song doesn’t make much sense in the context of the episode...but it does make more sense if you think of it less as the mane six talking to the crowd, and more as the makers of the show talking to their audience. But much like in the episode, no amount of appeals to reason or introspection will ever work, and the fandom is still going to lob hate at them regardless of what they do, forever.

With the main conflict summarily impossible to resolve, Starlight brings in the two little girls that Twilight saw arguing at the beginning of the episode. As it turns out, the journal the mane six published together has convinced them to remain solid friends to one another in spite of difficulties they might experience. Having seen this, they all resolve that being able to help like this is worth the sheer unending misery their fame has brought them.

So in summary, this alternate reading of the episode that makes far more sense to me personally reads something like this:

“We made this show for little girls. Unexpectedly, a bunch of people we never intended it for has taken a liking to it. At first we thought this was amazing, but over the years this unexpected fan base has proven to be nothing but unrelenting misery and hardship that foists hate upon us while having done nothing to contribute. Negotiating or reason is impossible and we have pretty much given up on anything good ever coming of them. However, regardless of the burden this places upon us, we will soldier on and continue to make the show, because the audience we actually made the show for enjoys and benefits from it.”

Like I said, I’m probably reading way too deep into it, and as always my interpretation is likely colored by my rampant self hatred. But after dwelling on it for a few days I can’t help but be at another one of those moments where I wonder if someone like me, someone who pretty much lives in grimdark, would have done far more good for the franchise by just leaving it alone forever instead of having chosen to engage with it to taint it with my mere presence.

17 notes · View notes

Monogatari Series Rewatch Part 4: Bakemonogatari [Nadeko Snake]

I’m doing it, I’m finally getting around to this, aah. Here we go.

Who else is ready for two episodes of ‘if only you could understand how much drama and pain your superficial understanding of Nadeko’s emotional problems is gonna cause you down the line, Araragi’, cause I sure am.

Thoughts under the cut.

[This got way longer than expected. Can you tell that I really love Nadeko as a character, and love talking about her?]

PART ONE:

-I haven’t talked a whole lot about any art-related things in a while [since I never know how to phrase my praise for this sorta thing without being kinda repetitive and aimless], but I really love the plain colour/gradient effect used for stuff like the bamboo forest. It’s definitely a cost-cutting measure, but for some reason I really like it. I guess, in a weird way, I really like the simple backgrounds that draw more focus to the characters, and make the show feel like even more of a stage play where everything other than the characters themselves are just props.

-It still gives me the warm fuzzies, that Araragi and Kanbaru immediately got back to being friends after the last arc. Their friendship is a wonderful part of the series.

-And here she is! Snake girl! Hoo boy, this is where we get into the start of some of the extended story elements. Though from what I remember, you tend to leave this arc for the first time not thinking that there’s anything deeper to her character and that she won’t show up again. LOLNOPE.

-Just to get it said right off the bat, Nadeko is honestly one of my favourite characters in the entire show, at least from my vague memories of my first time watching the series. I found myself relating to her and understanding her issues way more than I thought I would. I think it wasn’t until Otori that I paid much attention to her, but I feel like that goes for everyone. I totally get why she’s such a divisive character, though. I respect that.

-And here we have one of the single most iconic and memorable anime OPs of all time. Holy sh*t this song used to be EVERYWHERE. So many parodies and mash-ups and remixes. It’s weird to look back at the original. Especially since there’s so many little elements to it, mostly in the lyrics, that really bluntly hint at her various issues, and the direction her story takes. One of the very first lines in the OP is, more or less, ‘if words will destroy our relationship, then silence is fine’. Though it’s hard not to see this entire OP as being really meaningful when it’s so connected in my head to the Nadeko Medusa OP. I still adore how Renai Circulation is basically Nadeko’s idealized view of herself and her unrequited crush on Araragi, while Mousou Express is a more objective look at how obsessive her feelings actually are. I love it so much. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

-Also, as a side note, I think this OP was my first exposure to the series before I actually sat down and watched it about three or so years ago, and for the longest damn time I seriously thought that Nadeko had green hair. It took me a while to get used to her normal hair colour.

-Oh yeah, this is the first time we see the shrine, as well as the talisman thingy. Huh. I at least thought that the talisman didn’t appear until as far as Nise or SS. Weird. It makes me remember how sorta surprising it was to see the shrine become such a recurring setting, and such a big element of the overall story. But it really does just keep popping up. It’s probably one of the things I have the least of a grasp of, though, especially with how the various goings-on with it fit into the timeline. But I at least remember that the whole deal with the shrine is that it’s like the spiritual hotspot of the town, and that everyone wants to use it for their own purposes, mostly in terms of using it to maintain ‘balance’ in the town.

-Senjougahara continues to be utterly savage even when she’s not part of the scene. NICE.

-Huh, I genuinely forgot that apparently Kanbaru’s arm is gonna heal over the next five years or so. Huh. That’s a pretty major thing to forget. I feel like they never bring it up after this point, though. So that’s probably why. I guess it slightly lessens the whole tragedy of what happened to her, but I guess it was probably a bit too f*cked up of a concept for her to be stuck with a monkey arm for the rest of her life.

-For some reason I thought that the shrine was intact by this point in time and just got destroyed in a later arc. Guess not. [[If it’s not clear already I have a surprisingly sh*t memory of a lot of specific story details with this show. Especially in the early arcs like this. Since I haven’t watched them in several years. Also I’ve only read the LN versions of the first three Bake arcs, and have been procrastinating about the rest, so this is the start of where I truly haven’t really experienced the story in years]]

-Obviously this is a bigger aspect of later arcs, and I’ll discuss it more then, but holy sh*t does Araragi have the WORST memory possible. It’s almost hilarious how many issues in his life are caused by it. I can’t exactly blame him for not remembering one of his little sisters’ school friends who he hasn’t seen in six years but still. This is just a hint of what’s to come, I guess. And really his issue with Nadeko is less him forgetting her, and more him just not paying that much attention to her or trying to investigate her issues. Which, again, I can’t blame him for. Most of the things Araragi does like this are completely realistic and understandable even if we as the audience can see the dramatic irony involved.

-[Oh man, now that I’m remembering more of Nadeko’s story, it’s just now dawning on me for the first time how similar a lot of her story is to that one character from Umineko who I won’t name because of spoilers. They’re very different characters in general, but wow there’s at least some pretty overt superficial comparisons to be made. Huh. I need to remember to make a post about that character once I’m properly done with Umineko]

-Oh yeah, by this point in the story Nadeko was already going off into the mountains to ritualistically murder small animals. Yep. This sure is a thing that’s already happening. I forget the exact context of this, but yeah in hindsight this is a pretty clear indicator that she has some serious issues. Even if I can at least remember enough to know that she was trying to take the snake curse off herself. Still, stabbing hordes of snakes to a tree is messed up.

-I love all of Hanekawa’s shifty/squinty expressions during the whole scene here at the bookstore. She really does have a way of coming across as really composed, even though you can always tell, especially in hindsight, that she’s not as composed as she might let on.

-It’s still interesting to me how Nadeko’s hat makes her look a bit like a snake. Even her loose jacket kinda reminds me of shed snake skin. I know that basically all of the main girls have elements of their oddities incorporated into their designs, but I feel like Nadeko is probably the most subtle about it. Other than maybe Hanekawa. Either way, I really love this outfit of hers. I sometimes feel like wearing a jacket like that, but it always feels a little silly and pointless, and I’d probably worry about it not sitting still properly.

-I just got reminded by this one particular shot where he looks really nice, but, I really do think that Araragi is pretty dang attractive. I only really notice it with certain scenes, though. But when it’s there, it’s there. Obviously I’m sorta alone in feeling this way, lol.

-I appreciate Hanekawa taking the time to try and explain to Araragi that he’s way too wishy washy with his feelings, and way too nice and open with girls in a way that can come across as a lack of faithfulness to his actual girlfriend. It’s a lesson that he really needs to learn, as do many such protagonists. You can really get why Senjougahara is so clingy and distrustful in her own way. [Although I also do feel like Kanbaru is a weird character to use to set up this topic considering that she’s, you know, a lesbian. Oh well. Hanekawa’s point still stands]

-Huh, they’re already bringing up her intentions to travel the world once she graduates. Huh. I thought that only got bought up around Neko:Shiro. It’s also making me even more antsy about waiting for the eventual adaptation of Off Season because I REALLY wanna see that one arc that’s apparently about her travels.

-Oh boy, all these not so subtle hints about Hanekawa’s home life. My heart is not ready for when we actually focus on that.

-I seriously love every scene in this show that has red/orange lighting like this. It looks so fantastic. It really sets the mood.

-Of course the first thing Kanbaru does upon entering Araragi’s room for the first time is to loudly search for his p*rn while taunting him about how much she’s aware of his kinks and fetishes. Isn’t she the best?

-Yeah this whole scene is just as creepy as ever. Christ. Although I still cannot f*cking believe that they reference that one goddamn meme during this scene as well. It’s surreal. Though not quite as surreal as Attack on Titan referencing it for a recent magazine cover spread. I’m still reeling from that one.

-I’m pretty sure that Nadeko is still only like two or three years younger than him, but this whole thing is still . . . iffy. But obviously it’s meant to be iffy and weird.

-Especially in hindsight, it’s really sad seeing Nadeko talk about hating her body, and wanting to be saved by the person she has a crush on. Damn. Though the whole idea of her actively asking to be saved really sets up the big issue with this arc [so to say] and how it sets up Otori. I just feel bad for everyone involved.

PART TWO:

-I’m loving the shadow puppet hands going on that look like snakes. It really adds to the creepy atmosphere. Same with the really stark contrast between the dark shadows and the bright bluish-white lighting. Also, I dunno if I’ve mentioned it yet, but I love how Oshino is just the master of setting up school desks and chairs in increasingly elaborate ways, and sitting on them in increasingly implausible ways. In general I just love the use of props, staging, framing, and body language to construct a scene, in addition to the dialogue that makes up the meat of it. Obviously this is where Shaft’s influence shines through the most, since this is exactly the sort of stuff that’s fundamentally not part of the LNs. It’s really interesting to me how they took something like the basic descriptions of Oshino sleeping on a makeshift bed made of desks and blankets and whatnot, and went completely wild with the imagery of it.

-This is just a matter of the version of the subs I’m reading, but man is it throwing me off how the dialogue subtitles translate certain terms differently than the on-screen text subtitles do. Especially since I can also obviously hear the Japanese term being used and I have a vague idea of it’s inherent meaning, so I wind up with like three separate terms for the same thing being thrown at me at once and it’s sorta disorienting.

-[On the note of subs, I probably should have mentioned this before but it’s so weird to me seeing Hanekawa’s catchphrase translated any way other than ‘I don’t know everything. I just know what I know’. Anything else feels kinda blasphemous, even though it’s by far the most petty issue I could have translation-wise. I at least feel like any translation of that line should be consistent, to get across the fact that it’s the same line being repeated. I feel like the subs I’m using have translated it inconsistently once or twice, and it bugs me.]

-OK I guess this is another sub note, but I must have glazed over the line of ‘Living without words, no, dying, huh?’ in the OP the first time round. Huh. It comes across slightly mangled in English even though it’s a kinda neat pun in Japanese [it’s basically using ‘shi nuki’ vs ‘shinu ki’. I’d use the actual kanji they use if I knew what they were, but yeah that gets it across well enough]. Either way, it’s one of the various lines in this OP that really bluntly hint at how much of an issue it is for Nadeko to hide her true feelings behind a mask of cuteness and silence. I like how, via puns, it manages to effectively equate silence with death, which is pretty accurate and foreboding, considering that her repressed issues turn into murderous violence.

-It’s one of those things that makes me seriously wonder how much of Nadeko’s character arc Nisioisin had planned from the start. I know that he kinda plays it off as ‘haha, her voice actress wants to play an evil character, let’s make Nadeko into the final boss lol’, but I’d be surprised if it was anything so spontaneous and unplanned. So much of this arc really blatantly hints at how disturbed and unhealthy Nadeko is, and her issues are left so blatantly unresolved in this arc in a way that feels almost counter to the entire theme of the story [which is exactly why it comes back to bite everyone later]. I at least like to think that he was planning it all from the start, and was kinda messing around with stereotypes to try and make both Araragi and the reader glaze over all of Nadeko’s problems, and the logical consequences of this arc, while just seeing her as a cute girl. I dunno. Maybe I’m giving him too much credit. I know that it sometimes bothers me how much the series really, unironically plays up the ‘look what a [superficially] cute and innocent and naive little girl she is! So moe!’ angle at times, even though pretty much the entire idea of her character is how damaging it is to ignore and glaze over a person’s depth and their problems by valuing them solely for their cuteness or youth or purity or whatever, so . . . eh.

-It’s definitely interesting how it looks like Oshino never even sees Nadeko for himself in this arc, and just hears about her problem from Araragi. Given how good he tends to be at noticing when a person isn’t a pure, innocent victim in their whole story. I wonder how things might have gone if he’d seen her up close. I could at least see him noticing the thing she does where she hides behind her hair.

-I just thought after seeing the scene describing the invisible snake that’s constricting her body and about to kill her, but there’s a lot of parts of the story that are interesting to examine if you want to interpret the oddities as mostly just being reflective metaphors for emotional problems. Obviously in the context of the story they’re literally real, but still, I think it’s valid to interpret things this way if only as a way to understand what role each oddity plays, and what they show about each character. [And it seems relevant to bring up with Nadeko in particular, since the entire twist of Otori is that the oddity in that was literally just a reflection of her emotional issues and not even a ‘real supernatural thing’]. It’s interesting to look at how, at least thus far [I forget what else we learn about the snake curse incident later in this episode since I have it paused partway at the moment so I’m probably gonna feel real dumb in a few minutes lol], we’re dealing with a case of Nadeko being bitterly hated by one of her classmates for simply turning down a guy that the other girl liked, and now she’s off in the mountains killing small animals to try and lessen this horrible, constricting pain that makes her feel like she’s about to die, which is making her hate her body, and just want somebody to save her. I mean, I know I’m just literally describing what’s going on at this point, but it’s definitely easy to not quite consider the extent of what’s going on here if you get caught up in the snake curse concept. It’s a bit too easy to get the order of events wrong and assume that this magical curse is the sole cause of her problems and her negative feelings, and that it’ll be totally fine to just exorcise it. And it’s kinda sad how even Nadeko, understandably, sees it that way too. It’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t want to examine her feelings and their root causes and how they affect her life and how she thinks, and as a young, sheltered girl she might not even have any real idea HOW to do that sort of introspection. It’s pretty depressing, really.

-They even point out that ‘the curse’ was mostly caused by Nadeko’s whole ‘killing small animals’ thing, but Araragi of course thinks it’d be totally fine if Nadeko just did the animal-killing in a different place. In terms of the in-universe logic at hand, yes it might have prevented the supernatural curse placed upon her by it, but even with that in mind, we’re still dealing with someone who’s ritualistically killing animals to try and alleviate their psychological pain and the self-loathing tied in with that. The story even implicitly spells out the fact that Nadeko’s actions weren’t caused by the supernatural cause, but by her own emotional pain, when it talks about how the animal-killing caused her curse. So the blindingly obvious issue at hand here really has barely anything to do with the curse itself. The curse isn’t really the cause of anything, it’s the RESULT of everything else. It’s almost physically painful to see Araragi saying all this and obviously not even considering that there’s issues at hand that will persist even after this exorcism. But again, it’s the sort of thing where it’s just dramatically ironic that he isn’t noticing something that we can more easily see as outside readers. Still doesn’t make it any less painful to watch, though.

-I seriously cannot even state enough that the story is really openly talking about how Nadeko was *ritualistically killing small animals* before any sort of a life-threatening snake curse was involved. Again, it’s super hard not to think that the author was totally aware of all this, and was planning her arc out from the start. I mean, the big thing with each arc, especially in Bake, tends to be about Araragi being mistaken about the order of events involved in a case, and/or not letting himself notice something about the girl in question that should be obvious to anyone else. But in each arc he’s usually told about the things he’s about about, and he figures out the truth in the end. So it’s super obvious how in this arc that point just . . . never quite connects. Araragi gets his moment of pointing out that the curse came after the snake-killing, but nobody steps in to push him to consider what that actually MEANS. And honestly I know that I give him a lot of slack for not really trying to get deeper into her problems, but at the same time it feels like you should really look into getting someone actual, non-supernatural help when they start killing animals to cope with their emotions. JUST SAYING.

-And yeah here’s a big reason why I find Araragi’s role in this to be kinda tragically realistic and understandable. He DOES, in his own way, start to consider Nadeko’s own emotional pain and her unhealthy way of repressing her emotions, and he DOES tell her that she doesn’t need to do that, and that she can open up to him if she wants. I think he handles the situation much better than a lot of people might. So I can’t really blame him much. Really, the major issue is just that even after hearing all this, Nadeko still doesn’t really follow his advice. Which is realistic and understandable and tragic in it’s own way. She clearly appreciates his kindness and dependability, but it doesn’t change the fact that she probably barely even knows how to comprehend and vocalize her feelings, and it doesn’t change the fact that she presumably doesn’t want to do anything more to violate her cute-girl image. She probably doesn’t want Araragi hating her, or being grossed out by her, or anything. Which just reminds me how much it also hurt me when she literally started crying when Araragi admitted that he felt kinda dirty seeing her mostly naked body. Like damn. I didn’t really talk about it at the time, but it’s honestly kinda just sad to watch how even when she was at her most exposed and vulnerable, even when she was literally begging Araragi to save her from her pain and self-loathing and how much her body feels constricted and stifling, his and Kanbaru’s reaction was mostly just to talk about Nadeko’s bloomer shorts and whatnot. Again, not really casting any blame here, but . . . damn. I don’t really know if I would have reacted any differently if I was in her shoes.

-On a different topic, I love the shot of the winding path and the river looking like two intersecting black and white snakes when seem from above. It’s a really neat image.

-’I don’t really remember that much from my childhood. My memory’s not that great’. I’m just gonna sit here and keep laughing at this whenever it gets bought up in the story. This is seriously the root of like 50% of his problems in life. It’s hilarious.

-But on a more serious note, we get yet another moment where he makes a vague yet sincere attempt at learning more about her and understanding her situation more accurately, but she doesn’t really tell him the whole truth [since he doesn’t really remember her and it’d just make things awkward if she discussed it openly] and so he obviously doesn’t really have a chance to understand the true overall situation. He clearly just ends up seeing it as something he can forget about and not dig too deeply into because ‘it doesn’t concern him’, but HOO BOY is that so not the case. It’s seriously painful how accurate and relatable it is for Nadeko to be hiding the exact truth from him, though, even if it’s unhealthy. It’s obviously worth pointing out that, just like Araragi, she also isn’t exactly aware how bad things will get for her and how much her own lack of action and communication will mess with her. And so she just continues to be evasive and quiet, while letting herself be happy that Araragi is at least being nice to her, and talking to her, and trying to understand her.

-I can just imagine Nadeko as a little girl, being pretty much alone, and envying the idea of having an older brother. Aww :C Especially when, as we learn way later in Koi, she’s pretty emotionally distant with her parents as well, and they also just mostly see her as being their cute daughter [I’m getting WAY ahead of myself and will discuss this more when we get to Koi itself, but I still vividly remember the moment of Kaiki trying to ask Nadeko’s parents to actually describe her as a person and they just . . . can’t.]

-Along the lines of what I said about the scene at the end of part one, it’s seriously uncomfortable and awkward how Nadeko gets put in a school swimsuit for this whole scene. Seeing her severe self-esteem issues and whatnot be framed through a lens of sexualization is . . . kinda disturbing. Even the fact that, even though she’s clearly not entirely comfortable with the entire situation, she still wants Araragi to look at her is kinda sad.

-Why you gotta twist the knife in my heart with all these flashbacks, anime? :C My heart just hurts so much for Nadeko on so many levels. I can perfectly understand how she so quickly and obsessively developed these feelings of romantic love and a broader desire to be seen and understood and cared for. [[Also this is a really nice instrumental remix of Renai Circulation]]

-Part of me wonders what’s going on in Nadeko’s head while she’s sitting there, praying to have her pain taken away. Part of me thinks it might just make me feel even worse if I knew.

-Oh yeah, right, this ends with them just . . . throwing the snake away and being like ‘eeeeh it’s not our issue anymore’, doesn’t it? And then lo and behold, the snake goes back to it’s sender who then gets manipulated by Ougi into attacking Kaiki. WELP. Like seriously so much of this arc is just ‘well this surely won’t come back to bite us, right???’ it’s hilarious. In a sad way. Also, I forget, but wasn’t the person who attacked Kaiki a boy, implying that the sender of the curse was the guy who confessed to Nadeko and not her friend? I can’t remember, and I forget if it’s ever even discussed. I guess it doesn’t matter that much.

-And then literally thirty seconds after I resume watching the episode, Araragi literally spells out that the guy did indeed send at least one of the snakes. Welp. I sure feel awkward now, lol. I guess I was kinda right, though, even though I forgot that BOTH of the other people sent her curses.

-Yeah this entire scene is just so goddamn uncomfortable to watch. Urgh. Seeing her writhing in pain like that is just disturbing.

-It’s still kinda surprising to me how this series manages to be more graphically violent and bloody than a good amount of anime out there. You really wouldn’t expect it. I always feel so bad for Araragi in these moments where he just gets the ever-loving sh*t beaten out of him.

-Oh yeah I forgot that Araragi is totally aware that it’s a really bad idea to let the snake go but he has to do it or else it’ll kill him. Huh. I guess it’s yet another thing where Araragi isn’t necessarily stupid about everything going on and the consequences of certain things, but they still turn out in such a dramatically ironic and tragic way. Welp. Though I do also like how it furthers the recurring deal with how the answer is pretty much never for Araragi to just physically beat down or tear away an oddity and solve the problem that way.

-Also, mad props for my girl Kanbaru for stepping in to stop him from getting murdered. He seriously needs people like her around or else his hero complex would have gotten him killed a thousand times over.

-It really is pretty messed up that they’re forced to perpetuate this cycle of curses and pain in order to save themselves and Nadeko. But it’s perfectly fitting for the pretty damn tragic nature of this arc and how the consequences of it play out for all involved.

-So I guess we’re meant to think that the snake sent by the other girl got successfully exorcised, and it was just the snake from the guy that was still around?

-Oh boy, and here we get into Araragi’s own issues with self-loathing. It really is sad seeing him feel undeserving of Nadeko’s gratitude because of how he had basically tried to protect the dude that placed a curse on her, and had almost died in the process. And of course it gets into his issues with being not fully human and how that messes with his self-image/worth. But at the same time I also get why Nadeko is sincerely grateful to him for saving her.

-Of course, this also leads to a really awkward yet understandable scenario where the story just . . . ends here, with Araragi clearly too defeated and depressed to even think about whether or not this actually fixed Nadeko’s root problems. Again, he’s pretty much always entirely understandable and realistic with how he never quite figures out her issues in time or succeeds in getting her to completely open up to him. He doesn’t really have the time or energy to think that he might have stopped short of the truth, so to say. And Nadeko is obviously unwilling to talk about her deeper issues, and wants to just express her genuine gratitude to him for having ‘saved her’, even if it’s pretty much only a temporary measure, as we get oh so brutally shown down the track.

-So that’s it for this arc. Now onto Tsubasa Cat. No idea how long it’ll take me to get around to it at this rate. I’m probably going to split it into two posts, focusing on parts one and two, and then three, four, and five. I’m not about to try and attempt five entire episodes at once, with this sort of set-up.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Inaction and miscommunication are pretty horrible, toxic things, but they’re still fundamental parts of human nature that will probably never go away. People will always have things about themselves that they don’t want to share. They’ll always have a constricting pain that’s too much to put into words. A person’s body can become something that they hate, even if it’s only so they can have something to direct their inexpressible, vague frustration and agitation and pain at. Especially when communicating and connecting with others on a deep level can be so painful. When it can lead you to just hurting them and burdening them with your feelings. When it can lead to them not properly understanding you [even if it’s partially because you don’t let yourself be properly understood]. It can be so much easier to wrap yourself in comfortable, romanticized, unchanging silence, even though a life without words is the same as dying. I’ll get more into the topic of Nadeko’s self-image and the concept of ‘being a cute girl’ later on when it becomes a bit more relevant.

This arc is an interesting one, especially in hindsight. But even the first time around, it’s still surprisingly dark and disturbing and uncomfortable to watch in a way that you’d never quite expect from how incredibly fluffy and upbeat of an OP it has [at least on the surface]. I’ve been on the outskirts of the fandom for a few years now, and it’s pretty obvious that this is among people’s most commonly disliked arcs, along with ones like Neko:Kuro and Tsuki. Though I’ve also seen people have issues with some of the pacing/exposition elements of Oni and the second half of Owari S1. But back onto this arc, I totally get why a lot of people dislike this arc. Especially when viewed on it’s own. Considering that it’s mostly interesting to examine as the first section of the overall Nadeko story arc. And obviously it’s not exactly clear to the viewer that there even IS an actual wider story arc for her until we get to about a third of the way into SS. It also doesn’t help that the TV version of this arc was apparently godawful, but I can’t really talk about that since I’ve only ever watched the BD version.

Personally I find this arc to be a fascinating start for Nadeko’s character, even if I probably didn’t like it much the first time around. But in a sense, I like it in hindsight for the same reasons I disliked it at first. Like how it seems to subtly but noticeably go against the structure of the show by having Nadeko’s issues not get truly solved. Especially if we look at it in terms of Nadeko’s perspective of events and where she’s at by the time things end. I imagine I probably also felt that the whole idea of Nadeko killing snakes felt sorta pointless, and that nobody in the story really cared about it. But that’s what makes it so tragic, I guess. It’s another way in which it goes against the grain of how the past arcs worked in a way that feels really subtly dissonant. Even when the characters acknowledge that Nadeko was doing these f*cked up, violent things BEFORE she even had a curse placed on her, they don’t really stop to think ‘what exactly would lead to someone doing that?’ or ‘will those sorts of feelings and thoughts truly go away if we just get rid of this curse?’. You can’t really blame Araragi or Kanbaru for not properly understanding, for not realizing how much is going on in Nadeko’s head, and how much is festering in there and waiting to burst out in the most unhealthy way possible. She only lets people see a certain, relatively superficial side of her. And so this arc ends with the true issue not even being solved, and with only a temporary bandage put over it. And even then, the curse plaguing Nadeko just ends up stuck on it’s sender, so even that’s barely solved or gotten rid of. And obviously we end specifically on the note of Araragi being depressed and unable to accept any praise for what genuine good he did, and Nadeko being genuinely grateful for what he did, while not even fully understanding for herself what’s in store.

So basically this arc doesn’t resolve anything, it simply introduces Nadeko and her problems, and sets the stage for how these issues become so much more serious and lethal later on. And in that sense it’s pretty fascinating, even if it’s divisive.

Nadeko is one of my favourite characters in the show and I’m really happy to have a chance to talk about her. Even if I worry that I might end up repeating myself a lot when the story gets back to her, since I covered so much here already.

2 notes · View notes